Sunday, 26 December 2010

Brotherly love, a perfect Christmas present

At 5.30 yesterday morning all 4 of us were snuggled up in bed together. For the first time ever I heard N say the word cuddle, before putting his arm around I, cuddling in really closely, then falling fast asleep with his arms around his newborn brother. You can't ask for a more lovely and perfect start to Christmas day then that.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and if I don't post again before new year, I hope you have a fantastic new year too.

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Oh and a quickie

but here he is in the cardigan I made!

A birth story attempt 2

I have started writing all this in huge detail, but it all seemed a bit too much right now, so I'll do a shortened version.

Isaac was born by an emergency planned section at 3.22am on the 18th December. I was booked in for a section on the 23rd due to the fact he was breech, but he had other ideas. I am really pleased I went into labour naturally, not just because I had less time to wait to meet him, but because it meant he came when he was ready and when he wanted to be born, not when we decided for him to be born. I know that may seem like a small thing to lots of people but to me it matters, both my boys may have been sections, but they both decided their own entrance day.

I had been having contractions most the night of the 16th, nothing through the day of the 17th, but then when I tried to go to bed they started up again. Come midnight they were fairly regular but not too painful, but the snow was coming heavily so I rang the hospital and they said to come in. It was a bit of a slippy drive and the contractions were coming more often and stronger by the time we got there. I had the most lovely midwife (who actually specialises in breech vaginal deliveries but said she wouldn't recommend it in my case, not that I wanted to try) and she was really good and supportive. Actually the labour seemed to be going better then it had with N, but come 3 the theatre was ready and we went in to meet our little boy. The section went smoothly, he was born at 3.22 and came over for cuddles as I was being sewn back up. Getting back to recovery took a little longer then expected as they temporarily misplaced a page of notes (they had put them on the bed then put me on top of them when they moved me!) but before too long they were found and we were back in recovery giving our first feed.

Feeding has been going really well. I am very very fortunate in that both my boys seem to be natural feeders and have latched on with no problems from the start. One of the midwives did ask if I'd thought of doing breastfeeding support, but I'm not sure how much advice someone who has found things so easy would be able to give?

All in all everyone who I was under the care of while in for his birth has been fantastic. They were good when I had N, but this time they have just been fantastic, they were so lovely and supportive. They were really good when N was being a typical toddler who wanted to run up and down the corridors during visiting, they were happy to leave me to co sleep on the ward, ready to help whenever I needed, lovely just to chat to. I think a big thank you letter and chocolates will be sent soon.

So I guess that is all there is to say for now. Ok it may not be that short, but shorter then origionally. I'm so grateful to have my little boy here and home and now we are enjoying our babymoon with lots and lots of cuddles.

Monday, 20 December 2010

We're home!

Ok I really will post a birth story when we are settled and have a moment, but for now here is the important bit, pictures!

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Introducing Isaac

Just a quick phone post to say that Isaac Joseph was born at 3.22 yesterday morning by emergency planned section. I can't seem to upload pictures from here, but he is beautiful and i'll update you all when we are home.

Monday, 6 December 2010

A rare moment with the camera

I very rarely get the camera out at the moment apart from at family occasions, but yesterday I had been inspired by a friend so decided to get it out briefly while I had 10 minutes free. I do love photography and really should try and take the ten minutes more often.

A new blogger

Or in his own mind at least. You can't leave them for a minute! The lapptop had been off and away when I left the room.

And while I have been uploading have another slightly moody picture from a few weeks ago, just because I think he is gorgeous. He definitely has that 'what are you looking at?' face!

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

What a difference a week makes!

The first picture was taken last week just 5 minutres walk from my house, a lovely picture of Autumn. The second was taken about an hour ago just 5 minutes walk in the opposite direction.
The quality isn't great as it was getting dark and it was just on my phone, but winter has definitely arrived! Time to bring out the horlicks and steamed puddings.

On to the knitting and I actually have some finishes!

So it might be lie to say complete finishes, as I need to tie in all the loose ends etc on the cardigan and get some buttons and block it, but I'm getting there with the finishes. I have a lot to do in the next 3 weeks to complete all the things I want to, but I'm 3/4 there with my nieces v neck, I have another ear warmer for me that should only take an evening, and another baby thing that just needs making up, which is unfortunately the bit I'm not great at.

Monday, 29 November 2010

We have a date.

My meeting at the hospital went really well today. I saw a different doctor who was just lovely (turns out the midwie doesn't like the last doctor either but that is an aside), he listened, he wasn't patronising, he was great. The outcome of the meeting though was that this baby is still breech and looks unlikely to move so I have been booked in for a section on the 23rd December.

I know this is probably a bit too close to Christmas for some peoples liking and the midwife did apologise for the date and double checked it would be ok, but it is fine by me. I don't want to be booked in too early and even if I do end up in hospital over Christmas it is worth it. They do think there is a possibility I will be able to go home on Christmas day all being well, which would be nice, but I'm not going to hold out for that just incase.

So it's all rather exciting! I am now definitely on final countdown.

This week we have snow, the word botbot, and Chicken pox. What we don't have is sleep. Better now then at Christmas anyway!

We also have my final (hopefully) hospital appointment before birth, I'll update with that after I've been this afternoon.

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

17 months and 6 weeks to go.

This post is actually a day late, but as of yesterday N is now 17 months old, and only 6 weeks until the due date of my second! Not long left at all.

N is being lovely at the moment, but also testing out boundries quite a lot. His talking seems to be coming on the last few weeks and we definitely have a few more words, although they all seem to begin with D, like dog, dat(cat), dar (car), it is lovely to hear him speak those first few words more and more. He definitely takes after his Daddy in a love of trains and planes and has to stop and point whenever he sees or hears one. He also takes after his Daddy in his love of all things technical and forever is after tv remotes, playstation controllers, laptops, phones, putting dvds in the player etc etc. He also absolutely loves reading and the cold wet november weather hasn't dampened his love of the outside at all.

I had another midwife appointment this afternoon and this baby is now presenting breech. He was oblique at my last appointment and has now turned futher the wrong way. There is still time left for him to move, but it's a case of wait and see and in one way it means the whole vbac decision is taken out of my hands as a natural breech birth isn't something I want to try. I guess it isn't entirely surprising given that the percentage of babies presenting breech in woman with uterine anomalies is 40+% compared to 3% in the general public, but stats aside there is still nearly 6 weeks until I'm due in which time he may turn again.

I'll try and upload some pictures soon, but for now I'm off to bed. Night all.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Goodbye Amazon

I am aware of the fact that people can upload their own material to sell on amazon, so they don't pre vet everything that is for sale on their site, however I'm somewhat sickened by amazon this week. It is their response to the whole thing that angers me.

In a statement, Amazon said it "believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable", adding: "Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions."

So rather then apologizing for stocking such abhorrent and offensive material, they try and justify themselves by claiming the whole freedom of speech and censorships line.

Which is why my amazon account is being deleted. They say they " support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions" , well my purchasing decision is never to shop at amazon again.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Medical records.

After my meeting with the incredibly patronising yet completely wrong doctor I sent off for a copy of part of my medical records. So now I can not only tell her she is wrong, but show her that no matter how insistent she is, she is still wrong.

Anyway they arrived yesterday, it makes interesting reading, although there is very little in it I didn't know aside from the fact that I had Measles when I was 3. The really interesting thing though is the doctor who all my investigations were done under is none other then the consultant she is under. Yet still she seems incapable of actually reading any of my history, claiming it was all under a different department. We will see if she has read any by the next meeting, if I have the misfortune of seeing her again, but what a silly silly lying little woman.

I should be off making some scones now really, I'm off to a sling meet this morning and promised to bring something cakey, so I shall disappear for now, but I just needed to let that little rant out.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

Creativity and bargains

I'll start with the bargains. I was pointed in the direction of this website this week, so today I managed to stock up on some bargain Christmas things. Now there is a lot of tat too, but there are some really good bits for very little money. I got so so much stuff for just £11, I'm sure I got stuff to at least 4 times that value. I thought I'd post as I love a bargain and hopefully it will help someone else out too.

I seem to have had a fairly creative week, cakes and knitting a plenty- well plentyish. This trying to get spend a bit of time doing things I enjoy seems to be going well actually.

On Sunday we went to a Christening and I had been asked to do a cake. Now I am no great expert, and actually Hubby did the baking, but it didn't turn out too badly.

Then inspired by the lovely Hugh Fernley Whittingstall and an abundance of pears I made a pear and almond cake. It was so lovely and moist and very tasty with a big dollop of cream.

As for my knitting I seem to be getting on with this little v neck for my niece and these wrist warmers for my sister in law.

We even managed to get out with the sling for a short walk around the reservoir. I'm so blessed to have somewhere so beautiful just 5 minutes walk from my front door

So all in all it has been a lovely week so far. We went to the park today and ended up with soggy feet and covered in mud but very happy, but not got the pictures on the computer so that will have to wait. And to make the week lovelier I got an unexpected present yesterday.The picture doesn't show it off well but it is a gorgous vase that was bought for me as a little thank you.

Anyway time to turn this off and get the knitting out.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

My gardener

I decided that now I'm 30 week pregnant, doing the gardening is probably a bit too much. So I thought I'd get myself a cute young gardener in. What do you think?
As an aside after months of threatening we finally have two new teeth today!

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Verses for the day

These verses seem to be relevant at the moment, to me at least. So I thought I'd post them incase they are for anyone else too.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Wasting time.

More to the point, other people wasting my time. Or to be exact some Registrar doctor completely wasting my time by talking crap. I should have gone to knitting instead, it would have been more useful then my hospital appointment.

The fault is partly my own. When I got there the midwife said the consultant was very busy and I would have a long wait to see him, would his registrar be ok instead? I should have said no, I should have just hung about and waited. Instead I said it was fine as long as I got to speak to someone who could answer my questions. I didn't get that. Instead I got a big load of drivel and made up rubbish. I just wish that when people had no idea they would say so rather then make things up based on their limited knowledge and guesswork.

At one point she was trying to insist that I only had one opening to my uterus and the other part was a rudimentary horn. She seemed unable to believe other despite me telling her, until I told her that I had actually seen two entrances to two separate cavaties with my own eyes when I had a hysteroscopy. However she hadn't seen my Gynae notes, no-one ever has. Apparently Gynae and maternity are two completely separate departments and no one thinks to pass useful and relevant information between the two. So she said she'd check, she said she'd talk to the consultant about it, she said she would find out by my next appointment.

I tell you this much, I hope not to see her at my next appointment. However I may print out some information so that if I do see her she can at least educate herself.

Head, wall, bang! Repeat.

Only one thing helped rectify the whole situation

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Pregnancy update

I realise that with all the bits of knitting updates I haven't actually done a pregnancy update for quite a while.

Pregnancy is generally going really well, this little one is quite the wriggler and kicker compared to N who was always much more of a stretcher. I don't seem to be putting on anywhere near as much weight this time, and I shall have to post an updated bump picture soon

I am now 29+5(I think by the time I actually finished this post!) and it seems not too far away any more. The weather is getting colder and it doesn't seem like that long any more until Christmas and our baby will be here. I don't think we have too much to sort out and organise, but I'm sure there is still more to do then I remember. Baby clothes have all been washed while the weather has been nice, started sorting out a hospital bag, first size nappies have been dug out and a large proportion of the Christmas shopping has now been done.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the consultant to discuss VBAC and my dodgy innards. I asked the midwife a few questions last week and she promptly said she just didn't really know enough to be able to help me. She said in her experience a lot of people with a bicornuate uterus do end up with C sections, but that wasn't a reason not to give it a go. I do love people who admit they don't know much, rather then just trying to make things up or fob you off. Anyway she phoned the consultant and he said for me to go in and talk to him about it. So that will be my afternoon tomorrow. I've typed out what I want to ask so my brain doesn't go blank on me, and I'll try and update soon with what he says.

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Me time

I went to the first of a new daytime knitting group yesterday and I have to say it was lovely. No distraction of housework that needs doing, no noise of DH on the playstation in the background, N off having fun with the grandparents and me not too tired to concentrate.

I nearly finished my version of this, that I started but never finished when I was pregnant with N. I don't have it with me to show you right now, but it is in this yarn, and made without the picot edging.
Hopefully I'll have the finished thing to show you very soon, just need to do the border.

The only disadvantage of the group was that I ended up buying more yarn! It is lovely stuff hand dyed by a lovely lady called Carol I'm intending to make this with it, one for N and one for my niece.

So all in all I've got lots to keep me busy, especially if I want to finish it by Christmas.

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

A quick evenings work

What do you think of my lovely little headband/earwarmer? I decided I was going to make one because it is getting so cold, my ears were hurting with the wind at weekend, and I much prefer earwarmers to hats.

It is a design of my own that I made up and it was so quick and simple and actually worked! Just cast on 15 stitches on 6mm needles. I used aran wool but I suppose you could use a lighter weight wool and it would have a slightly more lacy texture. Then the pattern is just k3, yfwd k2tog, yfwd k2tog, k1, yfwd k2tog, yfwd k2tog, k3. Then repeat for every row so no real counting and concentration required. I stopped at about 45cm, but obviously you can go longer or shorter depending on the size of your head. I just did this last night while watching a cookery programme so it can't be that difficult!

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

I've been tagged

Marie has very kindly tagged me with this lovely blogger award. The rules are I have to write 7 unknown things about myself and then pass the award on to 5 other bloggers.

So now the task is to try and think of some things you may not know!

1. Despite big and grand plans I had as a teenager to move abroad, both the houses I have owned have been less then a mile as the crow flies from the house where I grew up. My parents still live there and it makes for very willing babysitters.

2. I love Sebastian Vettel, strongly dislike Fernando Alonso and am a bit ambivelent about Lewis Hamilton. Yes I am a big F1 fan, and I'd love to try and get to a grand Prix one day.

3. I love baking and today made a Cranberry loaf I've been too impatient to let it cool before eating though.

4. I did Physics, Chemistry and Biology at A-level, with a bit of maths thrown in for good measure. Despite my more obvious arty side I do find science and related things very interesting.

5. My fashion sense has changed a lot since I was little!

6. I really like a nice glass of Malibu and pineapple juice, although obviously they are few and far between at the moment. There are very few more summery drinks.

7. I don't have the trendiest and most up to date collection of dvds. There is lots of Quantum Leap, Due South, A Team, Persuaders, ER and tv series of classics on my rack, with a few films like King Arthur, Gladiator and the Narnia films.

As for who I'll tag I think I'll tag
Dr Spouse A British friend currently in the process of adopting from the US
Nicki A fantastic artist who lives in Scotland. Go and check out her work.
Hazel A lovely local friend who does some fab crochet and cross stitch
Hairy farmer wifey Another blogger with a dodgy womb or two. and finally Praying for a little one Mum of Henry, a lovely lady who continues to pray for those struggling with infertility.

Super speedy

How quick was that! Obviously accessories are my forte.

Monday, 20 September 2010

Double figures.

We are now in a double figures countdown, only 99 days to go!

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Time to be you.

I know this is something most mums feel at some point, but at the moment it is my turn.

At the moment I feel like it is really difficult to find time to do things that are just for me and that I like doing. I can't paint oo knit when N is awake, and by the time he is in bed I only have the energy for basic things that don't require much brainpower. I think the problem at the moment is that I'm finding getting about more difficult so going for a walk or doing some gardening, which are things I can normally do with N, are becoming less and less possible. Not helped by the wonderful weather that we currently have, cold, wet and windy.

So rather then just sit here and whinge about it I have decided to try and be a bit more proactive and set aside time for me to do things.

I have barely painted since last June, so I am setting myself a target of doing at least one painting before the baby gets here. At the moment I'm thinking I might paint this but not definitely decided.

Knitting wise I have been doing some, but not as much as I'd like. I have 2 very nearly finished baby bits that I need to finish, I'm just not very good at the making up bit. So I might try and get myself to a local knitting group to see if I can get some help. I know that there are plenty of people that will happily babysit for a couple of hours in the day if I can find a daytime group. I'm also going to try and make this for my niece as it is actually fairly simple and shouldn't require much thinking.

So I shall try and keep you updated and hopefully there will be some crafty updates!

Thursday, 9 September 2010

Learning about yourself.

Well today I learnt that I have one leg marginally shorter then the other, therefore slightly wonky hips, and also very slight curvature of the spine at the top, which would explain why I always look slightly slouched even when I'm not.

These are things I learnt at the physio today. I also learnt that my bump is comparatively tiny, seeing how huge the woman before me was. She is expecting twins, but that was one impressive bump!

The physio appointment went generally quite well anyway. She has given me some exercises and loads of info so just wait and see how I get on really, and just a case of go back when I need to.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010

24 weeks

I'm sure I probably posted a similar post at this point last time round, but today is an important day to me. Today is the day my baby legally counts. He had rights of his own, he is officially and definitely a person. What I find so sad is that this point is so far on in the pregnancy, but it is here today. He clearly needs to stay where he is for a longtime yet, but somehow I just find it reasurring that he would now be recognised as an actual person not just a pregnancy.

Monday, 30 August 2010

My green credentials of the week

Now if you haven't already guessed I'm a little bit lentilist at heart. We won't have this world forever, but while we do we should look after it and do what we can to remember that while it is ours to use it isn't ours to ruin.

Anyway not only have I painted our bathroom with a lovely green paint, cleaned the oven with a salt and vinegar paste rather then the horrible chemical stuff, and discovered microfibre cloths, but more importantly I have emailed to find out about getting some free solar panels Free solar panels, how cool would that be! Now I don't know if we will be eligable as our house isn't southwards facing, but it is definitely worth finding out about!

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Vbac with a mullerian anomaly

Following on from this post I just thought I'd post a bit of the research I have been finding and reading. I hope it helps someone. Please note if you have a normal uterus you may want to stop reading now as this probably will be rather dull, unless you are particularly interested in dodgy double uteri.

Realistically speaking there aren't any answers I suppose, statistics are never answers. I have found two studies, one of which Sacred and scarred has posted here and the other of which is here and there is a tiny bit more detail here Unfortunately that seems to be all the research I can find, and it has no specifics for the different types of anomaly, but the study groups are very small anyway.

I'll copy and paste the relevant bits though to stop you having to sift through it all.

Firstly I guess the bit you may be interested in are the outcomes

Of 5571 eligible patients, 165 (2.96%) had Müllerian anomalies. The rate of vaginal birth after cesarean section was significantly lower among patients with Müllerian anomalies than in patients with normal uterus, 37.6% (62/165) vs 50.7% (2740/5406)
So much lower vbac rates among people with mullerian anomalies, however
The major indication for repeated cesarean delivery among Müllerian anomalies patients was malpresentation
So it was mainly due to the fact that babies are more likely to be breech. Of people that attempted a vbac so presumably weren't presenting as breech
The cesarean delivery rates were 20% (5/25) and 25.1% (448/1788)(this is the normal uterus group), respectively
So if you are presenting normally and get chance to vbac there is a good chance you may acheive one. However as I'm sure you know you are much more likely to be malpresenting with a dodgy womb then you are with a normal womb.

However in vbac one of the main things to conside is the risk of uterine rupture.

There were 1813 attempts at vaginal birth after cesarean delivery between 1992 and 1997 at the Foothills Hospital in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Of the patients 25 had known müllerian duct anomalies and 1788 did not

The rates of uterine rupture were 8% (2/25) in the group with müllerian duct anomalies and 0.61% (11/1788) in the group without müllerian duct anomalies

8% sounds very high, however note the bit in bold

The authors studied five years records in Calgary and found 25 such women who had tried for vaginal deliveries after a previous caesarean. Two of them suffered a ruptured uterus (8%) but both had been induced with prostaglandin gel, and one had had oxytocin as well. Although the rate of rupture was only 0.61% in the 1800 women with apparently normal uteri, the authors do not say how many had had prostaglandin or oxytocin and whether that added to their risk.

In contrast the other article comes to the conclusion that

A trial of vaginal birth after cesarean section in patients with uterine Müllerian malformations and cephalic presentation is not associated with a higher rate of maternal morbidity and uterine rupture

It's hard to tell really whether vbac with a dodgy uterus is more likely to end in a rupture, but it seems fair to say that being induced vastly increases the rate of rupture. Induction does increase the rate of rupture with normal uteri too, but to nowhere near the same extent.

This is the bit which I personally find most relevant though
All cesarean deliveries among women with müllerian duct anomalies were performed urgently in response to severe fetal heart rate abnormalities. The rates of fetal heart rate abnormalities necessitating immediate delivery (60% vs 14.1%, P =.013), operative vaginal delivery (40% vs 19.6%, P =.02), and cord prolapse (8% vs 0.45%, P =.0076) were significantly greater in the group with müllerian duct anomalies.

My DS was born by section due to his heart rate falling a lot. This is something I hadn't considered, I just presumed it was one of those things and hadn't considered it could be due to my uterus shape. I feel this is something I'll have to research a bit more.

I guess the conclusion that I have reached is that as long as you aren't carrying breech you are just as likely to get a normal birth after a caesarian as anyone else, but when things do go wrong they are much likely to go badly wrong. I think the thing is to do what feels right to you, and not what you think others think you should do. Statisitics and other peoples stories never tell your story.

3 things that have made me smile.

I went to see my friend Hazel last night and we were talking about being positive and sometimes just stopping to think of 3 things that have made you smile today. They don't have to be big things, just things that make you happy.

Anyway it may only be 9.30am but here are three things that have made me smile this morning.

My new nappies and wipes that arrived in the post at 8 this morning. I love My funkly nappies.

My Damson tree which now has lots of lovely ripe damsons that my brother is going to pick for me today. Then it is jam making time, and there is no nicer jam then homemade damson jam.

And thirdly the fact that I'm not in pain this morning. Yesterday I was achey and in so much pain, to the point I nearly cried when they said the midwife drop in had changed from afternoons to mornings so I'd have to wait a week to see her. This morning it has eased so much and I can actually walk faster then a snail which was all I could manage at my worse yesterday dinnertime. The power of prayer and a good nights sleep!

So what 3 things have made you smile today?

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

21 weeks today!

Excuse the mucky mirror, this was taken in my parents junk room, but here is my first bump picture, today at 21 weeks

Friday, 13 August 2010

2 posts in my head

I currently have two different posts in my head. One about supporting those things that matter to you, the other about the strangest things bringing back memories. Then to add to that I have a lot floating around in my head about happiness when those around you are suffering.

I'll try and get this all out of my head and down in words but you'll have to excuse me if doesn't all join together and make sense. I'll try not to be too long about it!

The strange things bringing back memories thing was brought about, oddly enough, by a pair of stripey socks. More to the point, stripey socks with a hole in. I was thinking I should throw them away. Then this memory image popped up in my head as clear as anything, of me in hospital, bare from the waist down except for these knee high stripey socks, being examined as I miscarried. It isn't that I don't think about the miscarriage, I do often, but it is no longer at the front of my mind. Then suddenly there it was, as clear as day, this image from the day I lost Arthur. Down to the doctor apologising as blood dripped on said socks. I don't really know what else there is to say about it, but I needed to say it somehow.

As for supporting the things important to you this was brought about this morning. Sometimes it is easy to forget how much financial support it takes to keep most charities going. I was sat reading about a young girl being raped, while similtaneously on msn my Hubby was telling me he had been given a bonus at work and was sending some money to my account. As I sat crying about this young girl, a charity I know of popped into my head, and I realised how important it is to support these charities so they can support people like this girl. I once went to 3 seminars run by the woman who runs the charity and the work they do is fantastic. I just want to encourage you to support the causes that are important to you. It can be so easy to forget with the day to day of paying bills etc, but every small bit helps.

Lastly I just feel we are so blessed at the moment, but so many people around me and close friends are really struggling. I know we all have points of up and points of down, and there have been points when it has been me going through the crap, but at the moment there seems to be a lot of suffering. 2 close friends have recently lost parents, one this week, just a month after my friend got married. Several friends are really struggling with depression, one to the point of several attempted suicides. People trying unsuccessfully to have babies, people in difficult relationships, a friend of my husbands recently diagnosed with cancer, and people with just a lot of general sadness in their lives. These are the friends I know are struggling, not to mention the ones trying to keep everything together without telling a soul. I don't want to be wrapped in my own little bubble, but sometimes I don't know how to start.

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Well I was wrong.

We are having a little boy! I'm over the moon, but I would be either way. And he sleeps with his hands behind his head just like his brother sometimes does.

Sunday, 8 August 2010


Tomorrow is my next scan, The butterflies in my tummy aren't all just the baby moving this evening. Hopefully all will be well and by this time tomorrow we will know whether we are having a little boy or girl. I'm leaning slightly towards girl but really not sure, time will tell!

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

A couple of holiday snaps

We have just come back from a lovely holiday in Brittany in France. The weather wasn't the hottest, but it was dry and not too cold and we had a lovely time. We went with the inlaws and some aunts and uncles and it was great to have the family time, lots of lovely food and a mainly relaxing 10 days.

Saturday, 31 July 2010

18 weeks and flying.

Somehow I have reached 18 1/2 weeks already. Compared to last time this pregnancy is flying. Maybe it is because I don't have quite as many worries about the whole double womb thing given my body has now done this once before, maybe it is because I have DS to chase after and keep me occupied, but it doesn't seem like I will be half way in a week and a half!

This pregnancy has been quite different to the last, even less sickness, but maybe slightly more tiredness. The unconsumable hunger hasn't hit this time either, meaning so far I've only put on a few pounds despite a fair sized bump. Last time I put on 4 stones in total but I very much doubt I'll hit anything like that this time. I seem more emotional this time, last time I never had the pregnant lady emotions, but this time I have cried once or twice at cbeebies. And my words are often missing and my sentances disappear halfway.

Anyway a week and a half and then we get to hopefully find out what gender this little one is (I'm leaning towards girl) and to see ours bubs on that little screen for a few minutes.

In the mean time I'm sat here having snuggles and watching 'In the night garden' as the rain pours outside.

Saturday, 24 July 2010

Crap tv

Is it just me that can't be doing with Jeremy Kyle and the like? It isn't so much the programme, it isn't so much the people on it, it's the way people watch it because they think themselves superior to the people on it. It's like not just slowing down to gawp at a car crash, but then pointing and laughing at the people trying to crawl out the wreakage.

Maybe it's just me being overly sensitive, but this is real peoples lives and there is nearly always children involved, which just makes me feel incredibly sad. Rather then laughing at them, I'd rather just cry normally, I'm just so glad I don't live their life.

Monday, 19 July 2010

My hurray for this week!

We have movement! Those wonderful tiny precious first flutters have been definitely been felt the last couple of days. Yay!!

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Following on from patience patience patience

Patience is wearing a little thing.

Was told the car would be ready on friday, infact I was told it was ready on friday, but it wasn't, on friday told monday, monday told tuesday, tuesday told wednesday, and today told tomorrow. So everyday I have the fun of calling the garage to be told tomorrow, so then I have to call the insurance company, which means a lovely while on hold, then I have to talk to the courtesy car people, who should have been told by the insurance company but weren't. And I'm guessing the garage haven't told the insuance company what they need to know either, so I get to ring them again later. Oh joy.

Coupled with the fact that today all Noah wants to do is scream, play in the bin, break the fire, play with my knitting or smack the laptop today is a fun day.

Monday, 5 July 2010

Food for thought

It's getting to that time of year when my little garden is bursting with fruit and veg. A lot of it isn't yet ripe, but this week we have been eating courgettes, Pak Choi and salad from my garden. It's good to know though that by gardening with Noah not only am I providing him with perfectly fresh chemical free food, but also it does hishappiness and development good Ok so the article is about gardening in schools, but surely no matter where you are, encouraging children to get outside in the fresh air, see where their food comes from, play in the dirt and grow their own, can only be a positive thing.

Anyway here are a few obligatory pictures

Some French beans, Mangetout, Kale and Cabbage, as well as a few herbs and strawberries just at the edge.

Pak Choi just before eating


Cooking apples for apple pie

White currants of which we are going to have millions

and Damsons for jam

We also have loads of other bits and bobs, it is surprising quite how much much you can fit in pots and small spaces. We should also soon have tomatoes and carrots and alsorts. You get a lot of reward for a small amount of work.

Monday, 28 June 2010

Patience patience patience

I dislike waiting in for parcels, I dislike being on hold and I dislike waiting for people to phone me back. I'm sure most people feel similar. Unfortunately I seem to have spent a lot of time on hold this past week, and I've been waiting all day for people to ring me back.

I hadn't put anything about this yet as I wasn't sure with it being an ongoing police matter, but anyway last sunday my car got hit by another car. The drivers were uninsured, and it turned out the car wasn't theirs, they'd 'borrowed' it while the parents were out.

Anyway we were all fine, none of us were injured, the doctor checked me over and said they think baby is fine too. The car was badly damaged but we all didn't even have a bruise. I won't go into details like I say with it being an ongoing thing, but if it had been a second later the outcome could have been very different.

I felt so protected through the whole thing. Not only were we all uninjured, but by the time we had got out the car there was already a policeman on scene who just happened to be driving past. He took care of everything for us.

Since then I seem to have spent a long time on hold though. Today I am waiting for a call about a courtesy car, a call from the insurance and a call from the police about a court case today. The insurance company and the police have been very good, I'm just bored of waiting by the phone today. Whinge over but it's sunny, we're grumpy, and I want to go out!

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Fathers day

Now I know I'm late with this so bear with me. To be honest i hadn't even realised it was fathers day until I saw a friends status update about being up all night with their 2 week old baby, the getting up early with the 3 other children to make her husband a cooked breakfast. I was thinking she was mad, then it hit me there may be a reason for the madness. Fathers day. Ahh yes, now I remember. She is obviously a much more devoted and sentimental wife then me.

Either way, we don't really do mothers day, fathers day or valentines day, we never have. But this year Fathers day nearly had me in tears, maybe it is the hormones, but not entirely.

I have always thought the whole pc crowd in schools etc saying you shouldn't make fathers day cards incase it upsets those whose Dad isn't on the scene was a bit ott.

As I saw the children bring out the cards at church that they had made on sunday morning it nearly made me cry. Leaving aside those adults who may not be able to have children for whatever reason, who I have often thought about, what about the children themselves? 2 little sisters who are in foster care and although they have some contact with their mum I don't think their is any with the Dad. A nearly teenage girl also in foster family, and a young family whose Dad died a few years ago. I could of cried for them. Maybe sometimes a card to a special person isn't such a pc thing. It must break those childrens heart, especially the ones whose Dad has died.

Just another thing that reminds me how very very blessed and fortunate we are.

Friday, 18 June 2010

Where is my little baby?

He appears to have been replaced by a one year old!! (well a year and 2 days now)

Noah can now walk all the way across the room unaided, he can brush his own teeth, all 8 of them. He loves musical instruments and enjoys playing the glockenspiel or my Dad's guitar. He asks for the telly when he wants it by pointing the remote at the tv and shouting, he loves reading books, even my cook books. He still doesn't really like wearing clothes and prefers to be naked, I appear to have a naturist, and he loves being outdoors. We nearly have sleeping through! Ok it is probably one night in 4 he will make it through to 6 am, but even so it is a vast improvement, and most nights he makes it until about 4 before walking for some milk even if not all the way through. He is still a huge flirt and I fear I will have to watch him with the ladies as he gets bigger, he is all smiles and tilts of the head for a pretty girl. And feeding himself is still ermm.... messy

Noah's party isn't until saturday, so praying for sunshine, but what a difference a year makes!

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

So after yesterdays scan I now have a official due date of 28th December. We had a good chat about vbac and they so far seem happy for me to give it a go as long as my scar from last time seems ok. The only thing they were slightly concerned about was the relatively small gap between the two. I know people who have had much smaller gaps who have gone on to have a vbac so not too concerned. I get to meet with the doctor at 36 weeks for a final decision anyway so plenty of time. Here he or she is anyway, and a right little wriggler!

They also seems to be taking a lot more note of my uterus shape this time which is good. All in all a good appointment, they gave me some leaflets about vbac and told me to prepare any questions I might have for at my 20 week scan.

And not to forget Noah here is a picture of him swimming. He loves swimming and goes nearly every week, however it is a shame I can't post the picture of my niece as that truely is fantastic. I don't think I'm ready to share this blog with my family though!