How to gain facebook friends

Now I can't claim that everyone I know on facebook is an actual close friend, by no stretch of the imagination. There are people I was good friends with when I was ten, but haven't seen since, there are people who I met doing a weeks worth of voluntary work, there are vague aquaintances from school, there are internet friends, some of whom I have met once or twice, some of whom I've never met, friends of friends who I only occasionally see. However this latest friend request just takes the biscuit.

Yesterday someone asked to be my friend, I looked at the name, no clue, so I look at the picture, sometimes people have changed their name and I haven't realised until I see their face, but nope, don't recognise them, not helped by the fact it is an unclear picture. So then I do what we all do next, look up mutual friends, maybe I think she is an internet friend and I just can't place the name with a username, however no mutual friends. Getting stumped I think well I obviously don't know this person and reject the friendship request. You'd think that would be it it?

This morning I turn the computer on and there she is again, requesting me as a friend. Again. How odd I think. However this time she has left a note telling me where we met. You think that maybe being so persistent I'd made a dreadful error and forgotten someone really important, but no. Turns out I said Hello and shook her hand at a funeral. No great conversation passed, no getting to know each other, it was literally just a hello.

Now maybe I'm just old fashioned, and I know we all like to have lots of friends, but to me using a funeral to pick up facebook friends just seems a little bizzare to say the least. Oh well they do say there is nothing so odd as people!

Due date

Today is the day, approximately speaking of course, that I should of been meeting little Arthur. Of course he may have been early, or late, he may have been a girl, but either way it never came to any of those things. Today is my due date, and not sure what I expected to feel about it really. Maybe I should feel something more, but today just seems like another day in a way. It has been on my mind in a lot of ways this morning, but just in a contemplative way. I guess it is just that I have moved on. My focus at the moment is more on the fact that I am 2dpo then what could of been.

Anyway will just take a bit of time out today to focus on what we have lost, but I feel I have come so far since then. I actually threw away my positive test this morning. It has been sat on my bedside table ever since I got my bfp, and I have not known what to do with it, but this morning I just felt like it was a step onwards. So I guess although today isn't technically speaking a good day, I feel it is a positive day. The sun is shining and I'm looking to the future rather then the past.

Bicornuate bicollis Uterus

For those of you who don't know what a bicornuate bicollis uterus is I thought I'd post a picture. Mine is a bit more wonky then that, as the cervixes aren't side by side, one is infront of the other, but this is the general idea



As a general bit of information and a comparison here is a picture of most of the different mullerian anomalies and a comparison with the normal. It isn't the clearest picture but shows roughly the differences between them.



If you are reading this as you think you may have some sort of dodgy uterus, all I can say is make sure you push for a proper diagnosis, and check out this blog for a lot more information. Been talking to an internet friend this week and she is being messed about so much by doctors who don't really know what they are on about, or seemingly even the difference between bicornuate and a septate and the effect that it has on miscarriage rates. Makes me angry really, if a doctor doesn't really know something, why can they not admit that and refer you on to someone who does? Why try and bluff your way through? I'm very fortunate to have been seen by lovely gynaes but I have read online so many times about incompetent Drs bluffing people off, who then go on to have further and probably preventable miscarriages as they actually have an easily removable septate, not a bicornuate. Anyway rant over, I'm just glad my doctors took things seriously and really investigated what was going on before sending us off to ttc again.

So there you go, some education for the day. Hopefully you'll never need to know that, but it may be easier with pictures then me trying to explain what is actually going on in my insides.

Recent paintings

The first one is nowhere near done yet, needs a lot more doing to it, and the third one was just a doodle really to try something out, but at least I'm painting. Will hopefully get some more done this afternoon and work on that first one as unless I get it changed and better will just paint over and start again. I have been looking on deviantART for some inspiration so will hopefully put some of those ideas down on canvas soon.

Update

Well we are now officially back on the ttc bandwagon! Scary but great news. My appointment this morning was short but sweet, they didn't really have much to say that I didn't know. The MRi confirms the bicornuate bicollis uterus diagnosis. There are no extra worries about space, mullerian anomalies always indicate there may be issues with size and space due to the nature of them, but I was worried there maybe extra issues as they really couldn't get the hysterscope in either uterus when I had the hysteroscopy. However this was probably just due to the angles they are at, and the mri showed they are no smaller then 'normal' in these circumstances, so that is great.

What they did say, which I was hoping for, is that when we do get pregnant I will get early scans etc due to it being a more high risk pregnancy, so it is nice to know it isn't something I'm going to have to push for but will be automatically offered. They will want to know fairly early on where abouts and in which uterus horn any potential pregnancies implant so should be scanned at around 6/7 weeks which will be good.

So here goes!!

A comment on a comment on a comment

Ok maybe the title is a bit over the top, but was reading Dr Spouse's blog this morning and it has got me thinking about my own view on why I want to adopt.

Even before we started ttc, had the miscarraige and found out about the double uterus I wanted to adopt. For me adoption isn't something that will be a second choice if we can't have kids naturally, but a first choice, although hopefully as well as having our own. I have always wanted(well for a long time) 5 kids, 2 of our own and 3 adopted. If we get to that I will definitely have my hands full!

Anyway maybe it is just the people I know, but opposite to what DR Spouse has found I seem to know quite a few people who adopt or foster. Maybe it has an effect on why I want to adopt, maybe they are just people put in place in my life so I can get advice when I need it, but for me personally it isn't as rare as it seems to be in the general population. Maybe a lot of these people have come into my life so that when we need help and advice there are people there to talk to that will understand. In my family alone I have an adopted aunt, an adopted brother and 2 foster cousins although of those it is only my brother that has had an impact on my life, and that has been a big one. He has shown me how incredibly difficult adoption can be, how many problems you can't fix for people, but also how much you can do to make a difference to a persons life. Even the house that we own has a history of fostering, the people who we bought it off have fostered, and still do foster so many children of so many ages, this may sound completely stupid, but it does feel like this house is supposed to be some sort of haven. I hope that we can restore it to that at some point in the future.

For now though our focus is on the TTC, and tomorrow is my results from the mri!

A few more photos

Here are a few more for this months photo challenge, portraits. They are my friend muso's children, 2 of which are our Godchildren. They are such beautiful children and they really don't help our broodiness, they are fantastic, they are such characters.




Now just a few days left to take some more. I think I have taken more photos in the past month with holidays, wedding, photo challenges and The event put on by church, then I normally do in 3 months!

Only 3 days to go

My follow up appointment is on wednesday, so not long at all until I find out. Hopefully that will be it now, no more investigations etc. Then we will be back on the ttc waggon again most probably. I don't know exactly what I'm hoping for them to say, but I'm just hoping it will be positive and that if we are ttcing again it will be a bit quicker this time.

A few for this months Photo challenge

The theme this month is portraits, so here are my first few. Would love to go and take some in a forest by a stream, but these are just in the back garden for now.

Art exhibition

Well hopefully, all being well, me and at least a couple of friends will be having an art exhibition come mid November! I spoke about it to them last night, and they were so incredibly excited about the idea and really really up for it, so looks like it might happen. It's a bit scary, I'll have to stick at things I feel confident with, and they are both fantastic artist whereas I'm just me, but looking forward to it! Just need to actually ask about the venue and organise it now! And get arting!

Started a painting this morning anyway. So far only done a silver background so nothing to show, but will post when it's getting there. I need to restock up on a few things at the moment too, so after I next get paid it will be a trip to the art shop.

And the other side of life

Seemed odd putting this in the same post as the holiday snaps so thought I'd do it separate, but today was my husband's grannies funeral. It was just a tiny family affair, they are having a big service at her home church on another day, but the service itself was lovely. I met one of his aunt's and a cousin I hadn't before, but it was just such a shame that there was so much tension between the 2 sides of the family. I suppose it is different for me as an outsider, but it just seemed really awkward, although perfectly friendly and civil, between the two sides. Anyway no point me getting involved in any family disputes, I'll just be friendly to them all, especially on a day like today.

As a little aside I found out today that said granny's birthday was the same as little Arthur's due date. I knew they were similar times but I hadn't realised it was that day. I know he never got as far as a birthday, he may of been a she, and even if he had been born it's very unlikely to have been on the due date, however it's nice to think of them celebrating together in heaven.

A couple of holiday snaps

These are just a few of the night time ones, I didn't have a tripod so they are a bit blurred but not bad considering.

We had an absolutely lovely time, the weather was gorgeous, we had some lovely food, was a great, if tiring holiday. Came back on sunday, which was a very long days travel with a taxi, 2 planes and a coach then a train then a lift, but glad to be home, or I would be if the weather had come back with us. so much for a british summer, give me an Italian one every day!!