That itchy feet feeling

If you have read this blog for a while you will have noticed the recurring theme of needing to make a difference. Well I'm getting that 'need to do more' feeling again. It has been creeping up on me for a little while, but now it has just jumped up and is smacking me in the face.

I will be starting up the voluntary work at the hospital again soon, and hopefully that will help, but it is deeper then that. I think the milk donation helped keep it at bay for a while too, as it was something that makes a real difference to the most vulnerable babies, but I have come to the end with that now I think. Hmmmmmm. It has come back to the reading every article I can about adoption. Reading about all the problems and difficulties and stresses, about the processes, the options, the different authorities and agencies. I've even started looking at respite care, even though fostering in general is not something I want to do, but I'm not sure it is for us. Doesn't help that a friend is fostering 2 girls that I'd adopt in a heartbeat. Hmmmmmm.

I'm sure I'll find myself something to keep me occupied. Not that I'm not busy, just not changing the world. Gah... It doesn't have to be the adopting thing, that is just first on my mind, I also want to help those hurting, support the abused, be a friend to those who need a friend, find a cure for the horrid disease that is cancer that seems to be affecting a lot of people atm, bring world peace, right all the wrongs in the world, see the end of miscarriage, the end of forced marriages, see justice done, etc etc. Hmm maybe I'll leave some of those to other people.

Being a caring and loving parent is one of the biggest differences you can make to a childs life, so I know that what I'm doing and where I am at is one of the biggest and most important things I can be doing. I just want to spread it a little futher too...

Hmmm...

And breathe.
If you have got to the end of this brain dump you have done well.
If you have any suggestions please feel free.

As an aside a friend took this picture on his phone of our special precious DS, and I love it so thought I'd share.

39 + 6

Having not known how old Noah is exactly for some while I had a quick look this evening. Only to discover that today he is 39 weeks and 6 days old. Which given that he was born at 39 +6 means that tomorrow* he will have been out longer then in. I don't know whether it seems longer then the time I was pregnant, but I do know that it has been the best 39 weeks and 6 days I could ever have hoped for.

*and yes I know that technically you are 2 weeks the second you get pregnant, but you know what I mean.

My little brother is all grown up

Today I found out my middle brother has got engaged! This is the one who has done prison, alcoholism and then rehab and has completely turned his life around. You wouldn't recognise him from the person he used to be. They have been together since last summer, but she has known him as a friend when he was at his worse, and as a couple she helps bring out his best. I'm so so pleased for them both so I just wanted to post a hurray!

Also for those who do have someone they love who is in a mess, things can change. This was the boy who used to appear banging on our door at 2 am raging drunk, who managed to get himself barred from every pub, lost every job, arrested multiple times and made a fair few enemies along the way. Now he is clean, happy, sober, sensible and out of trouble. God and rehab have a lot to be thanked for.

9 months today

And gorgeous and cheeky he is too!

Happy Mothers day

Now normally I'm not a person who does mothers day/fathers day/valentines day and all that sort of thing, but seeing my little boy look up at me, smile, cuddle and giggle was the best mothers day gift anyone could ever want.

To all those people who get upset because you got the wrong card/no breakfast in bed/no big present I have to say I feel sorry for you, as somewhere along the line you obviously missed the point. DS is the best mothers day gift I could ever hope for, and a smile from him is more special then any present I have ever had.

I know it can't be nice for those people who feel unappreciated and unthanked, but I just want to take a moment today to think of those people who desperately want children and for whatever reason can't have them. I hope that one day you will have that gift of a smile cuddle and giggle that was so precious to me this morning.

Yay for the day

Or in fact several yays for today.

Firstly someone has actually asked me to knit them something! This may not sound like a big thing but it is a really nice confidence boost that someone likes something I have made so much they want me to make something for them.

Secondly we appear to have self settling cracked! Hurrah! Took less then a week but now we can put the little big man down awake and he will generally settle within a couple of minutes. Plus last night he only fed twice, at 1am and 5am. This may still sound a lot to some but it is a huge improvement on the 8ish+ times we peaked at and the 4 average over the past 4 weeks! I think it must have been teeth related as we now have five teeth!

And finally it looks like I probably have a part time job starting at Easter! All being well I will be looking after a friends little girl for 4 mornings a week, which will be really good for me to have a few more pennies, and the company for Noah as he just loves other babies. ETA no go with the job, but still looking.

Incredible

Sometimes I read things and am just blown away by the advances of modern medicine and the miracle of life.

It's just incredible

The big move

Tonight Noah will be sleeping in his own room for the first time!! I always thought I'd put him in when he was sleeping through, however we are still nowhere near, but I just feel the time has come.

I must say I can see the positives and the negatives. I'm looking forward to having our room back so we don't have to creep about in the dark when we go to bed, however I'm not looking forward to having to traipse across the hall in the cold in the middle of the night.

Hopefully it will mean we won't disturb him so he will sleep a bit better, overly optomistic maybe, but here is hoping!!