Friends bfp and other news

Last week I had my first friend announcing a bfp since my mmc, and I'm so pleased for them! Lots of friends have given birth since my scan, but none announced bfps, the last announcement was about 5 days before my scan. Was relieved to not feel at all upset or jealous by it, just really really happy for them. They got married in April, and it turns out that I had realised she was pregnant before they had. They don't know what has been going on with me, I had guessed she was pregnant but didn't want to say anything incase they weren't ready to tell people, but then when he did tell me turns out they had only just found out themselves.

As for me I'm still waiting for the results to my MRI. I've been away anyway so not able to hear anything yet, but hopefully won't be too long.

In other things hubby's granny passed away over the weekend. It is not a shock, but upsetting for the family none the less. We know where she is though and she is no longer suffering or trapped here. The funeral should be next week but not sure exactly when yet. She was a really lovely lady and although I didn't know her that well I got on so well with her.

Enjoying a bit of a break at the moment anyway. Just spent some lovely but tiring time with friends I don't see often, and now got a few days just with DH which should be lovely.

Nicki's competition.

My friend Nicki is having a competition to win one of her paintings. Go and check it out and support her, and have a nosey at her other pictures while you are there.

Indescribable

Now I can't possibly even try to claim that these are photo's I took, these are from the hubble telescope, but it just reminds you how amazing the universe really is, I think sometimes we forget. It's a bit beyond comprehension. The galaxy pictured below is approximately 719,015,515,916,140,800km in diameter. Earth has a diameter of a mere 12,700ish km.



Which bring me to this verse


When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

It is just amazing that the God who made all that, the vastness of it all, cares about us, a tiny spec on a tiny planet, in a tiny solar system, in a tiny galaxy that is one of billions of other galaxies in this massive universe. Whatever you believe you can't deny the universe is an amazing place, I just can't believe it was all one big accident.

If you are wondering where this mornings little outburst came from check out the dvd indescribable by Louie Giglio, it's one of those where you know it in your head, but it just reminds you how amazing God is. He made this immensely awe inspiring universe, and yet he cares about us and the details of our lives.

MRI scan update

Well the scan was fine yesterday, not really a lot to say about it as I haven't got any results until my follow up appointment. The one thing I didn't really expect though was that I would feel anything. It made me feel all buzzy and tingly, maybe due to the iron in blood, maybe just due to the vibrations of the machine. Anyway it was fine, it's out the way now, and hopefully I'll find out fairly soon what things are actually like in there!

A bit of everything

Seems to be quite a bit going on at the moment, so here is a bit of a roundup of what is going on with me.

I went to a very good friends wedding this weekend and it was absolutely lovely. They are both lovely people who have been really good friends and support for me recently with everything that has been going on and it was so lovely to see them get married. The service was fantastic, the best man was suitably amusing, he was very funny infact, especially as all the funny bits were unintentionally and just verbal drivel, he was great! It was lovely to get all dressed up too, have a bit of a dance, some lovely food, and a great day with friends. It almost made me cry though when the best man prayed that they would be blessed with children that would eat there greens, was lovely. I'm such a sop.

Feel like I haven't really posted any photos again for ages, got loads of lovely ones at the wedding, some great ones when the kids at work were horse riding last week, some really nice ones when I took the kids to Lyme park, however given that I feel I can't really post any of those I need to get a crack on. This months photo themes are either a taste of summer, or myths legends and fairytales, so should really start on that.

A bit of a worry at the moment is DH's granny. She has gone drastically down hill this year. There have been a few times when they thought she wouldn't pull through but she has, and now is one of those times where it isn't looking good. She is a wonderful lady, and a christian so I'm not worried about her dying as such, it's the inbetween bit that's hard, when she is so very ill. It would be wonderful if she pulled though again and was well, but if not I just want her to have a peaceful end and not be in any pain. Not really sure exactly what is happening at the moment though. My inlaws came back from their holiday early on sunday, but not had an update yet on how she is doing.

As for the ongoing investigations with my uteri, my MRI is tomorrow! I presume I won't find anything out for a couple of weeks as will have to then have another appointment with the gynae to discuss the results I guess, but I'm a bit nervous now as to what the end result of this whole bicornuate bicollis uterus, 2 cervixes, dodgy angles thing will be from a medical point of view. As to what the end result will be from a ttc point of view I guess that may just be a wait and see. Argh I wish I could have a definite answer either way, but life isn't like that unfortunately, but onwards we go anyway. I know I will be a mum one day, I hold on to that, it's just when and how that I don't know.

And finally I'm off to a christian youth festival in Somerset very soon to work as a steward. I do this every year for a week or two and I love it, this will be my 10th year working. I only booked about 2 weeks ago to go this year as obviously I originally thought I wouldn't be able to go. Although I'm looking forward to going I bizarrely feel a bit sad about going too, I wasn't going to go as I should be 8 months pregnant. However life moves on and looking forward to some time away in Florence after that. Can't wait for some hot weather!

So that has been a bit of a long and all over the place one! If you are still reading this far down and haven't said hello before then say hello and introduce yourself. I always wonder who is reading!

Why do we torture ourselves?

Why do I sit and watch things and read things that I know will only make me cry and pull at my heart when I know I can do nothing about it.

I've just been watching Steve Curtis Chapman's interview that he did today on Good morning America and it had me in tears, must be so hard for them to lose a daughter like that, it's so so sad. Then I was looking at all the adoption stuff they do and support and it just rips me up. I shouldn't look at things about adoption, I shouldn't read about children who need families, I shouldn't poke myself where it hurts, but I do.

I want to adopt more then anything else, more then have my own children, although I want that too, adopting just pulls at me so much. I know it's something I can't do right now, so why do I torture myself by reading things about it. Some kids are going through some horrible stuff, kids that are abused, kids that are neglected, kids that live on the streets, and I sit here in my big house and it's empty.

Getting there

She is looking fairly miserable, and she isn't finished yet, but getting there. Just leaving here to dry before doing some more.

New painting challenge

I recently bought 5 big canvases, they are 36x14inches, so not huge but quite long and thin. I started on my first this morning and I have set myself a bit of a challenge with this one. Given it's nearly a meter tall and I'm doing a person I won't be able to skimp on the face but as I have been trying to do more people recently I thought it was worth a go.

Here is my work so far


I haven't added any detail yet, just straight back colours really ready for working on top of, but so far I'm quite pleased and although I', dreading doing the face, I'm looking forward to a bit of a challenge too.

I won!!!

I can't believe I actually won. Well sort of. But even so I won!!!

It was the black and white photo of the fallen over gravestone that I submitted, and I actually came joint first with one other person. I'm really really pleased, never even come near close to winning before so this is a real achievement for me.

In other news of my life we have booked to go to Florence! I'm really looking forward to it, I've never been to Italy before, but it's supposed to be lovely so will hopefully get lots of good photo opportunities while there.