Very quick yay for today

I'm currently in the lead for this months photo competition!!!!! I know I may not end up in first, I'm just so so very pleased to be there at all! Woohoo! I really didn't expect it!

MRI and Chaplaincy

Really really pleased as the appointment for my MRI came through today. I was just starting to worry that it wasn't going to arrive, but it has and fortunately it's not that long a wait and also not when I am away either. Great news anyway as was getting a bit frustrated with not knowing when it was going to be. So all being well we may be back on with the ttc in September.

As for the chaplaincy meeting I just feel this is really something I want to do and something I feel really good about. I was the youngest there by at least half, but in a way I think that my age is a good thing as it's someone different to relate to and a different perspective. So come September I'm going to hand in my notice at my part time job (I presume no-one from there is reading this, that would be an impressive coincidence), to make time for the chaplaincy stuff. I may miss the money, but it's worth it for something that feels like it's what I'm meant to be doing right now.

The person preaching at church yesterday was saying how so many things that happen to you and that you do are all training and preparation for what you are ultimately meant to do. Even if you don't know it at the time the things you learn and experience are possibly shaping you for things you are going to do in the future. I know for me personally that is true, even looking back to my school work placements, one of which was in a nursery, which helped me get my jobs in child care, and one of which was working on a hospital ward for a week. Although what I'm doing now is nothing like what I imagined then that I would be doing, those experiences are a real bonus and help with what I'm doing and what I want to do now.

Right I shall stop for now, enough musings for the day, but a final comment, all of you have a purpose, even if you can't see it right now. There that's my deep comment of the day, but remember it.

A photos quandary

A lot of the photos that I take are of people I know, so I don't post them. I guess it leaves here a bit empty. I can't ask them all for permission to post them as then would have to tell them what my blog is, yet they are al posted with their knowledge on facebook and none of them mind.... Hmmm.. I guess for know I will continue leaving them off here as I don't know happy people would be if pictures were posted without their knowledge and it seems a little unfair somehow. Strangely if they were pictures of complete strangers it wouldn't bother me at all.

Anyway a couple of pictures that aren't of people. I saw this leaf while walking last week and thought it was quite interesting so here are a couple of pictures.

How to make a difference

It's one of the on going themes of my life, doing something to make a difference. Anyway when I've been in hospital for varying things a couple of things have really stayed with me. The first was when I had my ERPC. There was a woman there, we were there a good 12 hours or so, from rescan at 9 in the morning to op at 5ish, to home about half 8 or whatever it was, and I saw her on and off the whole day. She was in tears the whole day and she was completely alone. Although it wasn't exactly a great day for me I just wanted to go and hug her and hold her hand. I just really felt for her so much, she looked completely broken.

The second was a sign I saw when I went for my initial follow up appointment. It was asking for volunteers to help with the chaplaincy service. Now I know I'm not an ordained minister by any stretch of the imagination, but I can listen and I can pray with people if that is what they want. They may not even want me as a volunteer, but there is a meeting this saturday so will go and find out more and find out if I qualify so to speak. Even if they don't at least I'm being proactive.

So that's where I'm up to with that really. Will post a few pictures later, but will leave a seperate post.

Little sigh and a few pictures

I am not the worlds most patient person, or at least I am not patient when I don't know what's going on. I want my family now, I want to know whether ttc is a waste of our time or not and move on with something. There are so many kids that are treated like crap, unloved, unwanted, abused and I feel like I'm sat here doing nothing. I've never been very good at this feeling like I'm doing nothing thing. I need to make a difference to all this junk that goes on.

Anyway enough whinging for now, here a couple more pictures I took. The rest of the 'in need of repair pictures' are of a different theme and style and may put a couple up, but for now here is the end of my graveyard theme

In need of repair

That's this months theme for the photo challenge. Had a quick play earlier, and although I'm not entirely happy with these I like the idea. They are a bit more dark and gothic which is a bit more me and I think this theme could work well for that. I went for people in need of repair really. Hopefully will get some better ones on saturday but these will; give me a basic idea to work from.



Also did a bit more on my sunset picture this morning so here it is.  I'm not sure I want to mess with it any more. Although I'm not 100% happy with it I think I have got to that point where if I mess more I may only end up taking away rather then adding.

"I've done a lot of hysteroscopies and I've never seen one like that"

So I went and I'm back and turns out I'm even more awkward then we first thought! It looks like one cervix but with 2 entrances and two separate uteri. However now comes the unusual bit, that prompted the above quote from the consultant. Rather then being side by side with a Uterus off to each side, the cervix entrances were one above the other!?! Which means that although she did look in them both she couldn't really see exactly what was happening due to the angles. So I'm being referred for an MRI so they can have a better and different look at what is going on.

So the long and short of the appointment is they still don't know exactly what is going on with me, but two completely separate uterine cavities is better in terms of pregnancy outcome then one split one would be so that's good. I always knew I wasn't entirely normal gynae wise, I just had no idea how unusual!

Finding out

Well today is the day. Much as I'm not looking forward to having a camera in me I am pleased to be finding out what's going on. I just hope that everything is really clear and that there is a straightforward move from this point. Feel a bit calmer about it today then i did yesterday, I just want it out the way now and to know.

Will hopefully be back later with an update.