Wednesday, 7 May 2008

As time flies by

So far only posted my art and photos, not really touched on the ttc and life in general bit, so a bit more about me and my journey so far.

It was 2 months yesterday since my dating scan where I found out I had a probable missed miscarriage. I ended up having an erpc 2 weeks later, at 13 weeks, as the baby had stopped developing at 6 weeks. It seems so long ago now, but also no time at all. It's one of those strange time things. I can't imagine being 20 weeks pregnant now, I'm not sure if I can imagine being 20 weeks pregnant at all.

It's 15 months since we started ttc and in that time lots of friends have started ttc, got pregnant, several have their babies already, and 2 family members have also miscarried. I'm starting to think it's time to let others know about what's going on with us as when I did miscarry I found that talking to my boss who had been through very similar helped a lot. It's one of those things that so often you don't know about when people miscarry, but it must feel so lonely if you don't know anyone who has been through similar. So I think maybe it's nearly time to go public.

Anyway enough waffle for now.

Oh and just editing to add a little rant. i thik I'm getting to the point where I feel ready to complain about this now. The people in the epau and gynae were lovely, however people in maternity are a completely different matter!

*I do not need to be told that losing my baby is God's will
*I do not need to be told I've basically had a miscarriage and then dumped back in the waiting room for an hour with lots of heavily pregnant people
*I do want you to read my chart!! I've just been told I've had a probable mmc and you stupid weighing woman are congratulating me and telling me how lucky I am??!!!
*I do want to be correctly informed, not told one thing by the doctor and something entirely different by the midwife and then left not knowing what the heck to do when things do start to happen naturally.
*I do not want you trying to pretend that things might be ok when we both know fine well that they probably won't. If I hadn't been so clued up I would of left thinking that it was most likely my baby would be ok, and that the mmc was just an off chance. I know my dates and when I got my +ve you idiotic doctor!!

And breath. Then copy and paste to the hospital with a few tweaks.