A moment to think

This may be a bit of a brain dump, but bear with me.

Tomorrow it is 3 years since we lost our first baby, and it has been brought home to me again this weekend how fortunate we are. I have been very blessed to have 2 healthy babies since then.

I met up with a friend today, I haven't seen her for a few weeks, but the pregnancy radar had been going off fairly strongly. She told me today she is pregnant but they are fairly sure they are losing the baby. Even though I've been there I found it hard to find the right words to say, there just isn't anything you really can say, just pray.

On friday night I also found out that someone at church had a miscarriage late last year. It is one of those friend of a friend things, but this persons boyfriend works with an old friend and it somehow came up.

Each time I read something about uterine anomalies I know how lucky we are to have 2 healthy full term boys with few problems. The rates of miscarriage and premature birth are so high when you have a dodgy uterus, but these are friends who are normal and will probably never know why it happened, there will never be a reason why.

My maternity notes all arrived in the post today , I've been sat reading hundreds of pages of medical scrawl. The thing that struck me about the notes from my first pregnancy wasn't anything that was written, it was the pages and pages of blank notes. Unfilled forms, empty charts and pages of nothing where something should have been, if things had gone right. And I think that just sums it up, nothingness where there should be something.

Please pray for my friend. She has another scan in just over a week to confirm what is happening. Please pray for them.