Bernardeena

Things I love.

2012-01-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

I love Ice skating. It may not be popular or trendy, but today I had my first child free day for a long time watching the european championships. The pictures aren't great due to a point and snap and no flash, but it was a great day.

Another finish!

2012-01-22T04:55:00.000-08:00

I have another finish! It was a super quick and easy pattern but I'm pleased with it.

Getting giddy now

2012-01-20T10:47:00.000-08:00

A big finish has set me off on lots of new projects. I possibly bought slightly too much yarn this week. I do however nearly have another finish already!

An actual finish

2012-01-15T10:49:00.000-08:00

Well nearly, I need to sew in the ends, but after a long time I have finally finished my cardigan. Fortunately I love it.

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-30T03:49:00.000-08:00

And hello 2012.

2011 has been a great year, but it has now been and gone so on to new things. I'm not a huge one for new years resolutions, I normally make them at random points through out the year, but this year I have one.

I have heard several people talking about doing random acts of kindness for people. I think it is a lovely thing to do, but random isn't for me. I have also been reading and feeling quite a bit that we are blessed so we can bless others. I guess what that means to me is that if I have something I should use it to be a blessing to someone else. So that might be my time, my car, my skills, my money, my house, anything really. So my resolution in 2012 and beyond, an outlook for life, is to try and use whatever I have to bless someone else, whether that means make them a cake, give them a lift, or something bigger and more demanding. And I have a feeling that something unknown like that may be just around the corner.

Let it snow!

2011-12-19T00:58:00.001-08:00

The wonder of snow the first time he is old enough to appreciate it.

1 tomorrow!

2011-12-17T12:46:00.000-08:00

Where did that time go? I can't believe that my littlest man will be one tomorrow. This time last year the snow was falling and I was at home having contractions.

So today we had a little party for my not so little man. Unfortunately the husband couldn't be there due to the french deciding to strike on Friday leaving him stranded at an airport, but he should at least be home for his birthday tomorrow. We had a lovely family time with his grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. It is times like this I am very grateful for them all.

I haven't got any pictures on the computer yet, but here is just one, stolen from my sister in laws facebook.
Happy birthday little man!

Plumb

2011-12-08T09:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to put videos up properly but I just wanted to share this song. It is a bit cheesy with the Candy thing, but the sentiment is spot on and feels just right for this week.

Me

A new crafty lease of life.

2011-11-23T00:51:00.000-08:00

My littlest man is now 11months and is walking across the room, climbing the stairs and saying several words all quite competently. He is no longer a tiny baby. He is also now sleeping in his cot in the evening which gives me free time to craft that I haven't had for ages. I'm glad we never tried to force the sleep issue as it has been much easier leaving it to his time. He still comes in bed when he wakes for feeds, but it is nice to start to get my evenings back rather then always having a sleeping baby on my knee until I go to bed.

Anyway my crafty progress. There is so little I can actually show you with Christmas presents and secret santa, but here are a couple of bits.

6 months ago I started learning to play the cello, which is something I love, so that has become the focus of my first painting in a couple of years. I haven't got past the sketch stage, but here is my inspiration and idea.

I have also been working o my long term knitting project. The back is done and I have nearly done both front sides, I just need to do the sleeves and then the making up, the bit I never like.
So that leaves me with mad crafting for Christmas. I will try and take pictures for after they are sent. It is so lovely to be able to do more knitting again.

The most beautiful place

2011-11-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

We have just had a lovely week in one of my favourite places. Who would believe you could paddle in the sea in North Yorkshire in November?

Not forgetting the fact that North Yorkshire is also the home to lots of my biggest boys favourite things, steam trains! I think it is in the genes as father son and grandfather all adore steam engines.

Whitby elf hat

2011-10-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

I called this a whitby elf hat as it has been made for my littlest man's first ever Whitby goth weekend, and November on the north yorkshire coast can be pretty nippy!I guess this would fit about a 1 to 2 year old, it fits my ten month old perfectly but he is rather chunky.

I used 2 balls of dk wool at once, one black and one variagated, I used escape but I guess you could use a flat colour. Or if you wanted I guess you could just use one strand of chunky, but I like the effect from 2 balls.

I used 6mm needles and started by casting on 68 stiches, using the two yarns as one. Then I worked 8 rows in 2x2 rib. Staying on the same needles I knit a row and evenly decreased by 5 stitches across the length of the row, leaving me with 63 stitches. Purled next row, then worked in stocking stitch(knit row, purl row) until piece measured 10cm. On the next row I then knit 7, then knitted 2 together, and repeated until the end of the row. 56 stitches. I continued in stocking stitch for another 5 cm, then worked the next row by knitting 6, the knitting 2 together (k2tog) and repeating across the row. This kind of gives the basic pattern for the shape.

So from there I worked in ss for 5cm, then k5,k2tog for row, ss for 5cm, then k4, k2tog for row, ss for 5cm, then k3, k2tog for row, ss for 5m, then k2, k2tog for row, ss for 5cm, the k1, k2tofg for row. At this point I changed a little, Ithink I worked about 3cm then I k1, k2tog for row, then I did another 2cm and then k2tog across row, finishing by 2m of ss then cast off. Stitched up the seam, and that was it. I'm considering adding a little pompom but not decided yet.

The end of mine is all black because I ran out of the variagated wool, so added a second strand of black, but if I make this again I will make sure I have enough! Hopefully that makes sense if you want to have a go.

How on earth?

2011-10-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

I have just received an email from the headmistress of the school I will want to send my children to. This is someone I have never met at a school I have not yet applied to. It is about therapy, counselling and additional support for adoptive families within the school. The email said she thought it may be of interest to me.

How on earth?!?!!!

I think it is the right school for us, but my brain is now wurring!

10 months

2011-10-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

The time really is flying. My little newborn is now 10 months old. He really is a wonderful little boy. He loves playing with his big brother, although we have given him the nickname destuctorbaby as poor N never gets to build anything without it being pulled apart by his little brother. N is getting so big and is really very patient. We went through a really hard patch the moment he turned 2, I couldn't leave them alone together even for a second, but we have got through the other side lovelier then ever. He has a real mischeivious side but a really gentle side too.

As for me and my constant search to find time to be crafty, this week I have been dyeing. I had my first go at grad dyeing a wrap, and although it isn't perfect it isn't bad either.

Knitting is still going slowly but surely, and one day I will paint again, but it is all tiny bits which I enjoy and bring a bit of colour to my week. And when all else fails there is always my family friendly craft of baking.

Why have I not tried this before?

2011-10-01T01:01:00.000-07:00

Have you tried beetroot and chocolate cake? It is one of those things that has been floating around for a few years but I have only just got round to having a go. Oh my it is good, so moist and yummy! I used this recipe but there are lots about. This one only uses cocoa as opposed to actual chocolate and that is part of the reason I chose this recipe. I used slightly less sugar then it suggests, and I used sunflower oil instead of corn oil but it still turned out great. I then topped them with a cream cheese frosting and a bit of grated chocolate.

I may not have much time for other crafty things, but baking is an art that has a special place in my heart and stomach.

I'm not ready for this!

2011-09-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

At the grand old age of 9months and 6 days my little boy took a step by himself. Twice. Walking may be a bit further off yet, but the time really is flying!

Yum Yum Yum

2011-09-22T04:15:00.000-07:00

I'm sure lots of you have come across white chocolate fudge recipes before, but for those who haven't, let me share.

My friend shared this recipe with me, he makes his with marshmellows, but I went for the healthy option of dried apricots, as surely fruit cancels out all that sugary goodness?

Anyway start of by melting 400g of white chocolate, I did this in a pyrex bowl over a pan of hot water. Then start slowly adding condensed milk. As you start adding the chocolate will go all kind of grainy. Keep adding the condensed milk until the mixture becomes smooth again, this was just less then a tin for me. Then stop and add any extras. A friend has recommended adding Baileys but I haven't tried that yet.

Pour into a tin(I lined mine with clingfilm) then leave to cool. Slice up and enjoy!

A pat on the back with a tinge of sadness.

2011-09-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

One of the things I have enjoyed about breastfeeding is being a milk donor. However the rules have changed so now ds has hit 9 months old i can no longer donate to the milk bank. Sad as I am to not be a donor any more, I feel very pleased to say that in total over both babies I have donated approximately 28 litres of milk to help the tiniest and sickest babies. It may not change the world, but it may have changed someones world.

Baby legs

2011-09-06T03:17:00.000-07:00

Autumn is definitely here So I thought it time to start knitting some cold weather accessories for the boys. So here are my first pair of baby legwarmers for under jeans as it gets cooler. The pattern is from here although I worked them flat, and the yarn is a gorgeous collinette yarn

Two dangerous words.

2011-09-02T00:46:00.000-07:00

Yarn sale.

I may have increased my stash a little.

I especially love how the silver and purple one feels, it is a silk mix and so soft. Now just to find the time to use them. The pictures don't do the colours justice, but they are beautiful hand dyed merino. How could I resist?

I have to do a project update some time soon, and then hopefully finish some of them off!

Plums, Plums, Damsons, Apples and Plums

2011-08-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Firstly following on from my last blog the holiday was great. The weather did improve and camping was a definite success. One we were hoping to repeat next month but it looks like hubby will have to be away with work. Next summer will definitely involve lots of camping though

However on to these

Hundreds of the things. So many I have broken the tree, I should have thinned more, a lot more. Plus we have loads of damsons, cooking apples and blackberries. So far I have made lots of jams and puddings, including this damson pudding which was lovely. Then we have made Damson gin, plum vodka, and Damson chutney, fruit compote for on pancakes and ice cream and donation to friends, family and neighbours.

If you have any yummy recipes please let me know. The plums won't last much longer and we have loads of damsons and apples left too. It is this time of year that I love my garden!

The best way to start your holiday

2011-08-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

Generally holidays are not best started by putting up your new tent for the first time in a thunderstorm with torential rain and hail. Hopefully the weather will improve from here!

Pretty things

2011-07-31T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am possibly getting a tiny bit of a wrap habit, but isn't this gorgeous! It was dyed for me by Alex at Turquoise fields, she does some beautiful dyeing. The action pic is a bit washed out as it was so sunny, but it really is a pretty wrap.

And I'm going to add this, it's just weeds and wildflowers, but I thought they were pretty. We have been enjoying lots of lovely walks recently. The sun has been shining and we have actually had some summery weather, which anyone who lives in England will tell you has been scarce these past few summers. So these are just a few snaps on my phone from along the way.

There are so many pretty things, just growing wild. They may not be the kind of thing I would grow in my garden, but they all make the countryside a beautiful place to be.

A couple of fundraisers

2011-07-25T23:35:00.001-07:00

Neither of these are my pages, but I wanted to share them with you as the more money that can be raised to help the people of East Africa the better.

Give here to win a lovely hand crocheted blanket

Give here to win a lovely vatanai shorty wrap

A busy knitting bee.

2011-07-11T02:15:00.000-07:00

I have not one but two small knitting finishes this week.

I have two friends who are sisters who I wanted to send a little gift to. They live in Argentina so along with a box of cocoa powder, some dairy milk and some angel delight I have made and sent these.

You can't see the lovely blue and purple stripes very well, but these were wrapped up and sent off with this

This was made with some gorgeous Collinette yarn. You can see the colours a bit better here but it still doesn't show you how lovely this yarn is.

The problem with knitting is there are just so many different yarns, and so many patterns. I keep thinging of things I want to do, but I must first finish some of the things I have on the go!

A little Yay me.

2011-07-07T14:27:00.001-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I took part in one of many Race for life events. We ran (well partly jogged, mainly walked) 10k though the grounds of Tatton Park and I'm really pleased to say I raised over £125 for cancer research.

I took the little man with me in the sling, so we weren't the quickest, but it's the taking part that counts

Strawberries, broadbeans, currants and caterpillars

2011-07-05T00:10:00.001-07:00

The weather outside has taken a turn and the rain is falling, but this week has been gorgeous. I love this time of year in the garden, there is so much lovely fresh produce in the garden.

The home grown broadbeans taste so much nicer then shop bought ones, they are lovely just raw in salads. We have red currants and blackcurrants and soon the white currants will be ripe. Yesterday I turned some of the strawberries into yogurty smoothie ice lollies, just in time for the hot weather to disappear, but they are tasty never the less. We have other bits coming up too, however like with lots of things, with the good also comes the bad
Hundreds and literally thousands and thousands of sawfly caterpillars, and just when I think I have got on top of them there is an infestation of greenfly, encrusting my plum tree.

I love having the opportunity to grow my own fruit and veg, sometimes it's down right annoying, when your seedlings are replaced with cat poo or slug trails, but when you eat your own food fresh from the garden, there is no food like it.

A clear out.

2011-06-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a good throwing out session can be good for the soul.

To say we had a tidy out is a bit of an over exageration, but I sorted through some things in the box room we never go in. I think a lot of things in there hadn't moved since the day we moved in. There was poems my friends wrote at my 16th birthday party, postcards from when I was about 7 upwards, coursework from school, photos from gigs I went to in my teens, all sorts. I found these that I had on my wall from being a tween

The one about singing encouraged me for years as I am decidedly average when it comes to singing. I would love to be a fantastic singer, but I'm not . I think they are good things to remember whatever age I may be.

Throwing some of the things away seemed like a good step forward. I was reminded I'm not the person now that I was when I was a teenager, and that the people I knew aren't the same any more either.

Now just got to have a good clear out of every other room in the house.

Baking and making

2011-06-14T13:38:00.000-07:00

If you have 2 minutes spare and you like chocolate cake or pudding then I absolutely have to recommend this recipe. Oh it is delicious, and there was enough to feed 2 of us, you'll need a big mug though!

Following on from my last comment about the yogurt making I've done two batches now and it is so easy and tasty. I put a 1l box of uht full fat milk in the slowcooker on low for about 3 hours, might have been a bit less. Then I turned the slowcooker off and did nothing for about 2 1/2 hours. Next I measured out 1/4 of a cup of live yogurt, mixed it with some of the milk from out the slowcooker, then mixed the whole lot together back in the big slowcooker pot. Then I just covered the whole lot in towels and coats to keep it warm, and went to bed. When I got up in the morning, the yogurt was ready! It's a bit thinner then normal, but it is great for making smoothies or curries, both of which I have a lot of.

My next slowcooker triumph this week was coconut and cardamon rice pudding. I measured out 100g of short grain rice and put it in the slow cooker with a 400g tin of coconut milk. I filled the empty can twice with full fat milk and put that in the pot, then I took the seeds out of 5 cardamon pods, ground them up and put those in the slow cooker too. Turned it on and left for a couple of hours, then just sweetened to taste and eat. It would probably be good after indian food as the flavours are that sort of thing, but I would eat it whenever.

And to top off my kitchen accomplishments this week I have also made some pear and rhubarb jam and a birthday cake.

I'm feeling quite pleased with little self.

Crunchy

2011-06-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

My husband is cooking lentils while I read up about making yogurt. Sometimes, just occasionally, the stereotype fits.

I'm not broody but...

2011-05-23T03:09:00.000-07:00

My little man is now 5 months old, 18lb2 at last weigh in, he is rolling over and he chatters away such a lot. He is wonderful and beautiful but most definitely not a little newborn any more. I love this stage, before too long he will be discovering food and crawling, but I also am slightly sad at the fact that I probably won't do the whole newborn thing again. I love having babies, feeding babies, slinging my babies, cuddling my babies, I'm just not to keen on the whole being pregnant thing.

I feel happy with my two boys, and am looking forward to the next stage for us which will be adopting when they are bigger. It's always been my intention, and I'm impatient for that stage. We have a lot to give and their are lots of children who need stable loving homes.

It all seems planned in my head, until the other night hubby drops the bombshell that he is broody!

Holidays

2011-05-09T03:10:00.000-07:00

We had an absolutely wonderful holiday, we have onbly been back a week but it seems so long ago already. We stayed in a lovely cottage in Wales, with a stream in the grounds and a swimming pool just by the back door. For April the weather was gorgeous, and we had a fab time.

Had a lovely day on one of the most beautiful beaches. If you ever get chance to go to Barmouth beach then do, the beach id lovely and the scenery is stunning.

We had a day at the zoo, and saw N's current favourite animal. Happy feet is a firm favourite at the moment.

And we had not one but 2 days out on steam trains, a firm favourite with not only N but also with the husband. We have heard lots of shoutrs of engine, choo choo, track etc since we have been.

So there is a brief bit of our week. I would recommend north Walws to anyone, you may not get the weather we did but it is a beautiful place to visit.

Garden menaces

2011-05-03T23:55:00.000-07:00

It has been very quiet here recently, partly as we all had a horrible fluey bug and then partly because we all went on holiday, which was lovely. We had gorgeous weather and a relaxing and lovely time with our friends. However that is for another post.

This post is for my garden and the things attacking it, and for once it isn't cats. No I'll give you a clue
Those spots aren't caused by some mystery plant bug, and they aren't confined to one plant, they cover all plants, toys, compost bin, shed, raised beds etc on the left side of the garden. They are caused by this menace, fence sprayer If you are thinking about this, just don't do it!!!

And then to add insult to injury I've come back to find all my gooseberry bushes covered in mildew and completely stripped of leaves by sawfly. This gardening malarky doesn't always suit my style of bung it in the ground and hope for the best.

However summer is not too far away, the tulips, daffodils and blossom have all gone,
the seeds are growing and sprouting. The first salad leaves are almost ready, and before you know it we will have so many courgettes coming out we will be eating them every meal.

Spring has sprung.

2011-04-05T11:40:00.001-07:00

Life is precious

2011-04-03T02:01:00.001-07:00

Today is one of those days where I'm being reminded how short and precious life is. It is year today since an old school friend died of cancer. We were best friends at primary school but didn't really see each other after that. This is a picture of our class at school when we were 9/10.
I'm 27 now and three of the people in that class have died. It is serving as a reminder not to waste a day or an opportunity

Things not to do when your husband is away.

2011-03-25T13:53:00.000-07:00

Don't fall down the stairs leaving yourself with a sprained foot and unable to walk or drive. Especially not while carrying a two stone toddler. That was my lesson for last week.

At least it left me with time to knit while I was forced to put my feet up.

A moment to think

2011-03-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

This may be a bit of a brain dump, but bear with me.

Tomorrow it is 3 years since we lost our first baby, and it has been brought home to me again this weekend how fortunate we are. I have been very blessed to have 2 healthy babies since then.

I met up with a friend today, I haven't seen her for a few weeks, but the pregnancy radar had been going off fairly strongly. She told me today she is pregnant but they are fairly sure they are losing the baby. Even though I've been there I found it hard to find the right words to say, there just isn't anything you really can say, just pray.

On friday night I also found out that someone at church had a miscarriage late last year. It is one of those friend of a friend things, but this persons boyfriend works with an old friend and it somehow came up.

Each time I read something about uterine anomalies I know how lucky we are to have 2 healthy full term boys with few problems. The rates of miscarriage and premature birth are so high when you have a dodgy uterus, but these are friends who are normal and will probably never know why it happened, there will never be a reason why.

My maternity notes all arrived in the post today , I've been sat reading hundreds of pages of medical scrawl. The thing that struck me about the notes from my first pregnancy wasn't anything that was written, it was the pages and pages of blank notes. Unfilled forms, empty charts and pages of nothing where something should have been, if things had gone right. And I think that just sums it up, nothingness where there should be something.

Please pray for my friend. She has another scan in just over a week to confirm what is happening. Please pray for them.

21months and 3 months

2011-03-16T03:21:00.000-07:00

N is 21 months today, and boy is he getting grown up! Yesterday he used the potty for the first time, twice infact! We aren't really potty training yet, but it's there to get him used to it. His talking is coming on so much and his understanding even more so. He is getting really sociable, he has started asking for his friends lots and loves having company. He still doesn't sleep through often, but we are getting it occasionally now which is nice.

I is 3 months on friday. My little 7lb 2oz boy is now 15lb 8oz. He continues to feed well and my snuggly little man sleeps really well, he only wakes once or twice a night normally, when his big brother isn't twiddling his ears or trying to snuggle into him. They are lovely together. He is smiling lots now and starting to burble quite a bit.

I feel so blessed to have them both.

Quiet but busy

2011-03-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

I may not have posted recently, but at least my time has been productive. I have another knitting finish.
This has been on the go but put to one side for a long time. I thought I best finish it while it would fit N, and it does. I'm really pleased with this one.

Today I also branched into dyeing. I was a bit nervous about this as I have never dyed anything before and it wasn't the cheapest thing to start with.
It worked perfectly though, and here it is drying on the line.
I just love the colour, I threw in a couple of N's vests that I had sent a bit pink in the wash, and they came out great too.

I have even had time to work on a little something for myself, but pictures of that will have to wait. Plus there has been lots of sunshine so lots of garden time, N now has his own garden tools so we can do the weeding together. So all in all I am really feeling productive.

Texture

2011-02-13T08:44:00.000-08:00

Not too bad, a good picture of varying texture anyway.

And once again I'm reminded how fortunate I am to live where I do.

10028

2011-02-09T12:12:00.000-08:00

Since I added a blog counter 10028 people have visited this blog!!! Hello to each and every one. I don't have anything momentus to say right now, so I'll celebrate with these two lovelies.

A finish and a revelation.

2011-02-05T13:07:00.000-08:00

Better late the never! This is for my neice, the colours aren't true to life on this photo but you get the idea. It's a less the perfect piece, but I'm pleased it is done. The main bits of knitting were done before I's arrival but the making up is always the bit I find difficult. I have had a revelation though. Making up isnt actually as difficult as I make it, it is really actually fairly simple.

At knitting this week I was shown a different way to pick up stitches, rather then my made up hope for the best way, and it is SOOOOO much easier! If I pick up the second stitch in rather then the end stitch it is neater, easier and quicker. So I picked up the last armhole and finally finished. Hurrah.

I'e also discovered that if you want to knit with a baby who doesn't like being put down, then the best thing to do is lie him facedown across your knees. So knitting result this week. Hopefully knitting can get back into the flow.

From bad to worse

2011-02-02T01:42:00.000-08:00

Ok so last weeks photo challenge was weak, this weeks is even more poor. I'm just hanging on to the fact I actually did it.

At least I have a possible idea for this coming week.

I have actually taken a few other photos at least this week of things not challenge related. And in other crafty things I've actually managed to do a small amount of knitting and designed this logo for our local slingmeet I was actually really impressed with it, although I actually got the idea from a tattoo design I saw! And speaking of slings my stash is growing. I got a lovely new (well new to me but preloved) sling yesterday. It is the middle one and it is just gorgeous! I love my wraps.

A poor beginning

2011-01-27T05:50:00.000-08:00

Last weeks theme for the photo challenge was Rural. I can't say it is the best photo ever but at least I did it.

This weeks theme is flight and it already half way through the week so I best get my thinking cap and my skates on!

52 week challenge (-2)

2011-01-21T05:00:00.000-08:00

I said I am going to get back into photography, so I needed something to focus my mind with it all. A 365 challenge seemed a bit(LOTS) too much for me at the moment so I have decided to do a 52 week challenge, minus the two weeks I've already missed. I thought having a set theme each week would help focus my mind a little and get me thinking, so here are my themes for the next few weeks.

* Rural: 18 January
* Flight: 25 January
* Insects: 1 February
* Texture: 8 February
* Passion: 15 February
* Washing: 22 February
* Floating: 1 March

taken from http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-10768282

So first photo should be up soon!

Coincidence?

2011-01-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

Having a double uterus is pretty rare, as far as I know I don't know anyone else that has one, it isn't the kind of thing that you hear about everyday. However last week I was talking to someone at a toddler group and she was telling me about her sister who is currently pregnant with her first child, and how they are worried and thought it would never happen. Then she went on to say the reason they were worried was because her sister has 'two of everything'!! At which point my ears prick.

Obviously I don't know all the ins and outs and the exact nature of her uterine anomally, but she was saying the doctors have told her sister to hope for 28weeks at least. It was such a reasurrance to her to know that it isn't always that way. Yes there is a high chance of premature birth, but it was nice to be able to reassure her that it isn't always the case and I have had 2 healthy full term babies. I think just to have someone else that understands the worry of running out of space and premature birth etc. I know when I was pregnant with N every week was a bonus and a little sigh of relief.

I've passed on my email address, I don't know if I'll hear anything, but it is sometimes just comforting to know you aren't the only one.

One month today

2011-01-18T14:18:00.000-08:00

And my little 7lb 2 baby now weighs 10lb 12!

A catch up.

2011-01-15T03:32:00.001-08:00

Firstly a very belated happy new year to you all. I was going to do a new year and resolutions type thread, until I realised that like nearly every year I don't actually have any resolutions. I hope you are all managing to stick to yours! We have started the year by clearing out some of the old and bringing in the new though. It feels good to clear through all the things that just don't get used and pass it on and clear it out either to charity or via ebay.

As for in with the new I have just treated myself to this gorgeous sling and it really is beautiful! The pictures don't do it justice as to how lovely it really is. I'll try and get some actual pictures if this rain stops, but me and Isaac have been enjoying lots of newborn snuggles in it.

I feel like my little baby is getting big already. He is 4 weeks old today and I realised how much he has grown when I saw him next to a 2 week old baby earlier this week. I don't know how much he weighs now, but there is no denying he has lost that very new look and is starting to fill out. So I'm enjoying every moment while he is still small. N is still doing really well with him, not once has he shown any sign of jealousy, he is such a lovely caring big brother.

Back to the new years resolution thing, although I don't have any, I have been quite inspired this week to try and get my camera out again. I suppose I could make that a sort of resolution. Since N was born I haven't really got the camera out except for at family occasions and the like. I had just about refound my photography thing when I got pregnant again and was too tired to get out much. The picture that inspired me was This guy really has some beautiful photos I love Whitby, and have actually stayed in the Blue cottage for a week, and this picture just stirred up my photography gene. So being realistic I'm not going to get into taking too many pictures, but small steps and all that. I'm currently also being inspired about my garden. Lots of lovely seed and plant catologues have been arriving through my door, but there is a couple of months to go until it's planting time so for now it's just browsing. It's nice to look forward to it all and being able to get out and do some gardening again will be great.

I have a little dodgy uterus coincidence to post about, but I'll do that next time. For now I'll just say goodbye and I hope the weather there is better then it is here.

Brotherly love, a perfect Christmas present

2010-12-26T03:54:00.000-08:00

At 5.30 yesterday morning all 4 of us were snuggled up in bed together. For the first time ever I heard N say the word cuddle, before putting his arm around I, cuddling in really closely, then falling fast asleep with his arms around his newborn brother. You can't ask for a more lovely and perfect start to Christmas day then that.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and if I don't post again before new year, I hope you have a fantastic new year too.

Oh and a quickie

2010-12-22T09:40:00.000-08:00

but here he is in the cardigan I made!

A birth story attempt 2

2010-12-22T02:59:00.000-08:00

I have started writing all this in huge detail, but it all seemed a bit too much right now, so I'll do a shortened version.

Isaac was born by an emergency planned section at 3.22am on the 18th December. I was booked in for a section on the 23rd due to the fact he was breech, but he had other ideas. I am really pleased I went into labour naturally, not just because I had less time to wait to meet him, but because it meant he came when he was ready and when he wanted to be born, not when we decided for him to be born. I know that may seem like a small thing to lots of people but to me it matters, both my boys may have been sections, but they both decided their own entrance day.

I had been having contractions most the night of the 16th, nothing through the day of the 17th, but then when I tried to go to bed they started up again. Come midnight they were fairly regular but not too painful, but the snow was coming heavily so I rang the hospital and they said to come in. It was a bit of a slippy drive and the contractions were coming more often and stronger by the time we got there. I had the most lovely midwife (who actually specialises in breech vaginal deliveries but said she wouldn't recommend it in my case, not that I wanted to try) and she was really good and supportive. Actually the labour seemed to be going better then it had with N, but come 3 the theatre was ready and we went in to meet our little boy. The section went smoothly, he was born at 3.22 and came over for cuddles as I was being sewn back up. Getting back to recovery took a little longer then expected as they temporarily misplaced a page of notes (they had put them on the bed then put me on top of them when they moved me!) but before too long they were found and we were back in recovery giving our first feed.

Feeding has been going really well. I am very very fortunate in that both my boys seem to be natural feeders and have latched on with no problems from the start. One of the midwives did ask if I'd thought of doing breastfeeding support, but I'm not sure how much advice someone who has found things so easy would be able to give?

All in all everyone who I was under the care of while in for his birth has been fantastic. They were good when I had N, but this time they have just been fantastic, they were so lovely and supportive. They were really good when N was being a typical toddler who wanted to run up and down the corridors during visiting, they were happy to leave me to co sleep on the ward, ready to help whenever I needed, lovely just to chat to. I think a big thank you letter and chocolates will be sent soon.

So I guess that is all there is to say for now. Ok it may not be that short, but shorter then origionally. I'm so grateful to have my little boy here and home and now we are enjoying our babymoon with lots and lots of cuddles.

We're home!

2010-12-20T11:32:00.000-08:00

Ok I really will post a birth story when we are settled and have a moment, but for now here is the important bit, pictures!

Introducing Isaac

2010-12-19T05:59:00.000-08:00

Just a quick phone post to say that Isaac Joseph was born at 3.22 yesterday morning by emergency planned section. I can't seem to upload pictures from here, but he is beautiful and i'll update you all when we are home.

A rare moment with the camera

2010-12-06T01:00:00.000-08:00

I very rarely get the camera out at the moment apart from at family occasions, but yesterday I had been inspired by a friend so decided to get it out briefly while I had 10 minutes free. I do love photography and really should try and take the ten minutes more often.

A new blogger

2010-12-06T00:54:00.000-08:00

Or in his own mind at least. You can't leave them for a minute! The lapptop had been off and away when I left the room.

And while I have been uploading have another slightly moody picture from a few weeks ago, just because I think he is gorgeous. He definitely has that 'what are you looking at?' face!

What a difference a week makes!

2010-11-30T08:42:00.001-08:00

The first picture was taken last week just 5 minutres walk from my house, a lovely picture of Autumn. The second was taken about an hour ago just 5 minutes walk in the opposite direction.
The quality isn't great as it was getting dark and it was just on my phone, but winter has definitely arrived! Time to bring out the horlicks and steamed puddings.

On to the knitting and I actually have some finishes!

So it might be lie to say complete finishes, as I need to tie in all the loose ends etc on the cardigan and get some buttons and block it, but I'm getting there with the finishes. I have a lot to do in the next 3 weeks to complete all the things I want to, but I'm 3/4 there with my nieces v neck, I have another ear warmer for me that should only take an evening, and another baby thing that just needs making up, which is unfortunately the bit I'm not great at.

We have a date.

2010-11-29T12:21:00.000-08:00

My meeting at the hospital went really well today. I saw a different doctor who was just lovely (turns out the midwie doesn't like the last doctor either but that is an aside), he listened, he wasn't patronising, he was great. The outcome of the meeting though was that this baby is still breech and looks unlikely to move so I have been booked in for a section on the 23rd December.

I know this is probably a bit too close to Christmas for some peoples liking and the midwife did apologise for the date and double checked it would be ok, but it is fine by me. I don't want to be booked in too early and even if I do end up in hospital over Christmas it is worth it. They do think there is a possibility I will be able to go home on Christmas day all being well, which would be nice, but I'm not going to hold out for that just incase.

So it's all rather exciting! I am now definitely on final countdown.

2010-11-29T01:33:00.000-08:00

This week we have snow, the word botbot, and Chicken pox. What we don't have is sleep. Better now then at Christmas anyway!

We also have my final (hopefully) hospital appointment before birth, I'll update with that after I've been this afternoon.

17 months and 6 weeks to go.

2010-11-17T01:57:00.000-08:00

This post is actually a day late, but as of yesterday N is now 17 months old, and only 6 weeks until the due date of my second! Not long left at all.

N is being lovely at the moment, but also testing out boundries quite a lot. His talking seems to be coming on the last few weeks and we definitely have a few more words, although they all seem to begin with D, like dog, dat(cat), dar (car), it is lovely to hear him speak those first few words more and more. He definitely takes after his Daddy in a love of trains and planes and has to stop and point whenever he sees or hears one. He also takes after his Daddy in his love of all things technical and forever is after tv remotes, playstation controllers, laptops, phones, putting dvds in the player etc etc. He also absolutely loves reading and the cold wet november weather hasn't dampened his love of the outside at all.

I had another midwife appointment this afternoon and this baby is now presenting breech. He was oblique at my last appointment and has now turned futher the wrong way. There is still time left for him to move, but it's a case of wait and see and in one way it means the whole vbac decision is taken out of my hands as a natural breech birth isn't something I want to try. I guess it isn't entirely surprising given that the percentage of babies presenting breech in woman with uterine anomalies is 40+% compared to 3% in the general public, but stats aside there is still nearly 6 weeks until I'm due in which time he may turn again.

I'll try and upload some pictures soon, but for now I'm off to bed. Night all.

Goodbye Amazon

2010-11-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

I am aware of the fact that people can upload their own material to sell on amazon, so they don't pre vet everything that is for sale on their site, however I'm somewhat sickened by amazon this week. It is their response to the whole thing that angers me.

In a statement, Amazon said it "believes it is censorship not to sell certain books simply because we or others believe their message is objectionable", adding: "Amazon does not support or promote hatred or criminal acts, however, we do support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions."

So rather then apologizing for stocking such abhorrent and offensive material, they try and justify themselves by claiming the whole freedom of speech and censorships line.

Which is why my amazon account is being deleted. They say they " support the right of every individual to make their own purchasing decisions" , well my purchasing decision is never to shop at amazon again.

Medical records.

2010-11-11T00:57:00.001-08:00

After my meeting with the incredibly patronising yet completely wrong doctor I sent off for a copy of part of my medical records. So now I can not only tell her she is wrong, but show her that no matter how insistent she is, she is still wrong.

Anyway they arrived yesterday, it makes interesting reading, although there is very little in it I didn't know aside from the fact that I had Measles when I was 3. The really interesting thing though is the doctor who all my investigations were done under is none other then the consultant she is under. Yet still she seems incapable of actually reading any of my history, claiming it was all under a different department. We will see if she has read any by the next meeting, if I have the misfortune of seeing her again, but what a silly silly lying little woman.

I should be off making some scones now really, I'm off to a sling meet this morning and promised to bring something cakey, so I shall disappear for now, but I just needed to let that little rant out.

Creativity and bargains

2010-10-28T01:59:00.000-07:00

I'll start with the bargains. I was pointed in the direction of this website this week, so today I managed to stock up on some bargain Christmas things. Now there is a lot of tat too, but there are some really good bits for very little money. I got so so much stuff for just £11, I'm sure I got stuff to at least 4 times that value. I thought I'd post as I love a bargain and hopefully it will help someone else out too.

I seem to have had a fairly creative week, cakes and knitting a plenty- well plentyish. This trying to get spend a bit of time doing things I enjoy seems to be going well actually.

On Sunday we went to a Christening and I had been asked to do a cake. Now I am no great expert, and actually Hubby did the baking, but it didn't turn out too badly.

Then inspired by the lovely Hugh Fernley Whittingstall and an abundance of pears I made a pear and almond cake. It was so lovely and moist and very tasty with a big dollop of cream.

As for my knitting I seem to be getting on with this little v neck for my niece and these wrist warmers for my sister in law.

We even managed to get out with the sling for a short walk around the reservoir. I'm so blessed to have somewhere so beautiful just 5 minutes walk from my front door

So all in all it has been a lovely week so far. We went to the park today and ended up with soggy feet and covered in mud but very happy, but not got the pictures on the computer so that will have to wait. And to make the week lovelier I got an unexpected present yesterday.The picture doesn't show it off well but it is a gorgous vase that was bought for me as a little thank you.

Anyway time to turn this off and get the knitting out.

My gardener

2010-10-23T03:11:00.000-07:00

I decided that now I'm 30 week pregnant, doing the gardening is probably a bit too much. So I thought I'd get myself a cute young gardener in. What do you think?
As an aside after months of threatening we finally have two new teeth today!

Verses for the day

2010-10-19T03:41:00.000-07:00

These verses seem to be relevant at the moment, to me at least. So I thought I'd post them incase they are for anyone else too.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.

Wasting time.

2010-10-18T08:03:00.000-07:00

More to the point, other people wasting my time. Or to be exact some Registrar doctor completely wasting my time by talking crap. I should have gone to knitting instead, it would have been more useful then my hospital appointment.

The fault is partly my own. When I got there the midwife said the consultant was very busy and I would have a long wait to see him, would his registrar be ok instead? I should have said no, I should have just hung about and waited. Instead I said it was fine as long as I got to speak to someone who could answer my questions. I didn't get that. Instead I got a big load of drivel and made up rubbish. I just wish that when people had no idea they would say so rather then make things up based on their limited knowledge and guesswork.

At one point she was trying to insist that I only had one opening to my uterus and the other part was a rudimentary horn. She seemed unable to believe other despite me telling her, until I told her that I had actually seen two entrances to two separate cavaties with my own eyes when I had a hysteroscopy. However she hadn't seen my Gynae notes, no-one ever has. Apparently Gynae and maternity are two completely separate departments and no one thinks to pass useful and relevant information between the two. So she said she'd check, she said she'd talk to the consultant about it, she said she would find out by my next appointment.

I tell you this much, I hope not to see her at my next appointment. However I may print out some information so that if I do see her she can at least educate herself.

Head, wall, bang! Repeat.

Only one thing helped rectify the whole situation

Pregnancy update

2010-10-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

I realise that with all the bits of knitting updates I haven't actually done a pregnancy update for quite a while.

Pregnancy is generally going really well, this little one is quite the wriggler and kicker compared to N who was always much more of a stretcher. I don't seem to be putting on anywhere near as much weight this time, and I shall have to post an updated bump picture soon

I am now 29+5(I think by the time I actually finished this post!) and it seems not too far away any more. The weather is getting colder and it doesn't seem like that long any more until Christmas and our baby will be here. I don't think we have too much to sort out and organise, but I'm sure there is still more to do then I remember. Baby clothes have all been washed while the weather has been nice, started sorting out a hospital bag, first size nappies have been dug out and a large proportion of the Christmas shopping has now been done.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with the consultant to discuss VBAC and my dodgy innards. I asked the midwife a few questions last week and she promptly said she just didn't really know enough to be able to help me. She said in her experience a lot of people with a bicornuate uterus do end up with C sections, but that wasn't a reason not to give it a go. I do love people who admit they don't know much, rather then just trying to make things up or fob you off. Anyway she phoned the consultant and he said for me to go in and talk to him about it. So that will be my afternoon tomorrow. I've typed out what I want to ask so my brain doesn't go blank on me, and I'll try and update soon with what he says.

Me time

2010-10-12T10:22:00.000-07:00

I went to the first of a new daytime knitting group yesterday and I have to say it was lovely. No distraction of housework that needs doing, no noise of DH on the playstation in the background, N off having fun with the grandparents and me not too tired to concentrate.

I nearly finished my version of this, that I started but never finished when I was pregnant with N. I don't have it with me to show you right now, but it is in this yarn, and made without the picot edging.
Hopefully I'll have the finished thing to show you very soon, just need to do the border.

The only disadvantage of the group was that I ended up buying more yarn! It is lovely stuff hand dyed by a lovely lady called Carol I'm intending to make this with it, one for N and one for my niece.

So all in all I've got lots to keep me busy, especially if I want to finish it by Christmas.

A quick evenings work

2010-09-28T00:25:00.001-07:00

What do you think of my lovely little headband/earwarmer? I decided I was going to make one because it is getting so cold, my ears were hurting with the wind at weekend, and I much prefer earwarmers to hats.

It is a design of my own that I made up and it was so quick and simple and actually worked! Just cast on 15 stitches on 6mm needles. I used aran wool but I suppose you could use a lighter weight wool and it would have a slightly more lacy texture. Then the pattern is just k3, yfwd k2tog, yfwd k2tog, k1, yfwd k2tog, yfwd k2tog, k3. Then repeat for every row so no real counting and concentration required. I stopped at about 45cm, but obviously you can go longer or shorter depending on the size of your head. I just did this last night while watching a cookery programme so it can't be that difficult!

I've been tagged

2010-09-21T10:30:00.000-07:00

Marie has very kindly tagged me with this lovely blogger award. The rules are I have to write 7 unknown things about myself and then pass the award on to 5 other bloggers.

So now the task is to try and think of some things you may not know!

1. Despite big and grand plans I had as a teenager to move abroad, both the houses I have owned have been less then a mile as the crow flies from the house where I grew up. My parents still live there and it makes for very willing babysitters.

2. I love Sebastian Vettel, strongly dislike Fernando Alonso and am a bit ambivelent about Lewis Hamilton. Yes I am a big F1 fan, and I'd love to try and get to a grand Prix one day.

3. I love baking and today made a Cranberry loaf I've been too impatient to let it cool before eating though.

4. I did Physics, Chemistry and Biology at A-level, with a bit of maths thrown in for good measure. Despite my more obvious arty side I do find science and related things very interesting.

5. My fashion sense has changed a lot since I was little!

6. I really like a nice glass of Malibu and pineapple juice, although obviously they are few and far between at the moment. There are very few more summery drinks.

7. I don't have the trendiest and most up to date collection of dvds. There is lots of Quantum Leap, Due South, A Team, Persuaders, ER and tv series of classics on my rack, with a few films like King Arthur, Gladiator and the Narnia films.

As for who I'll tag I think I'll tag
Dr Spouse A British friend currently in the process of adopting from the US
Nicki A fantastic artist who lives in Scotland. Go and check out her work.
Hazel A lovely local friend who does some fab crochet and cross stitch
Hairy farmer wifey Another blogger with a dodgy womb or two. and finally Praying for a little one Mum of Henry, a lovely lady who continues to pray for those struggling with infertility.

Super speedy

2010-09-21T00:04:00.000-07:00

How quick was that! Obviously accessories are my forte.

Double figures.

2010-09-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

We are now in a double figures countdown, only 99 days to go!

Time to be you.

2010-09-15T01:16:00.000-07:00

I know this is something most mums feel at some point, but at the moment it is my turn.

At the moment I feel like it is really difficult to find time to do things that are just for me and that I like doing. I can't paint oo knit when N is awake, and by the time he is in bed I only have the energy for basic things that don't require much brainpower. I think the problem at the moment is that I'm finding getting about more difficult so going for a walk or doing some gardening, which are things I can normally do with N, are becoming less and less possible. Not helped by the wonderful weather that we currently have, cold, wet and windy.

So rather then just sit here and whinge about it I have decided to try and be a bit more proactive and set aside time for me to do things.

I have barely painted since last June, so I am setting myself a target of doing at least one painting before the baby gets here. At the moment I'm thinking I might paint this but not definitely decided.

Knitting wise I have been doing some, but not as much as I'd like. I have 2 very nearly finished baby bits that I need to finish, I'm just not very good at the making up bit. So I might try and get myself to a local knitting group to see if I can get some help. I know that there are plenty of people that will happily babysit for a couple of hours in the day if I can find a daytime group. I'm also going to try and make this for my niece as it is actually fairly simple and shouldn't require much thinking.

So I shall try and keep you updated and hopefully there will be some crafty updates!

Learning about yourself.

2010-09-09T11:50:00.001-07:00

Well today I learnt that I have one leg marginally shorter then the other, therefore slightly wonky hips, and also very slight curvature of the spine at the top, which would explain why I always look slightly slouched even when I'm not.

These are things I learnt at the physio today. I also learnt that my bump is comparatively tiny, seeing how huge the woman before me was. She is expecting twins, but that was one impressive bump!

The physio appointment went generally quite well anyway. She has given me some exercises and loads of info so just wait and see how I get on really, and just a case of go back when I need to.

24 weeks

2010-09-07T01:13:00.001-07:00

I'm sure I probably posted a similar post at this point last time round, but today is an important day to me. Today is the day my baby legally counts. He had rights of his own, he is officially and definitely a person. What I find so sad is that this point is so far on in the pregnancy, but it is here today. He clearly needs to stay where he is for a longtime yet, but somehow I just find it reasurring that he would now be recognised as an actual person not just a pregnancy.

My green credentials of the week

2010-08-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Now if you haven't already guessed I'm a little bit lentilist at heart. We won't have this world forever, but while we do we should look after it and do what we can to remember that while it is ours to use it isn't ours to ruin.

Anyway not only have I painted our bathroom with a lovely green paint, cleaned the oven with a salt and vinegar paste rather then the horrible chemical stuff, and discovered microfibre cloths, but more importantly I have emailed to find out about getting some free solar panels Free solar panels, how cool would that be! Now I don't know if we will be eligable as our house isn't southwards facing, but it is definitely worth finding out about!

Vbac with a mullerian anomaly

2010-08-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

Following on from this post I just thought I'd post a bit of the research I have been finding and reading. I hope it helps someone. Please note if you have a normal uterus you may want to stop reading now as this probably will be rather dull, unless you are particularly interested in dodgy double uteri.

Realistically speaking there aren't any answers I suppose, statistics are never answers. I have found two studies, one of which Sacred and scarred has posted here and the other of which is here and there is a tiny bit more detail here Unfortunately that seems to be all the research I can find, and it has no specifics for the different types of anomaly, but the study groups are very small anyway.

I'll copy and paste the relevant bits though to stop you having to sift through it all.

Firstly I guess the bit you may be interested in are the outcomes

Of 5571 eligible patients, 165 (2.96%) had Müllerian anomalies. The rate of vaginal birth after cesarean section was significantly lower among patients with Müllerian anomalies than in patients with normal uterus, 37.6% (62/165) vs 50.7% (2740/5406)

So much lower vbac rates among people with mullerian anomalies, however

The major indication for repeated cesarean delivery among Müllerian anomalies patients was malpresentation

So it was mainly due to the fact that babies are more likely to be breech. Of people that attempted a vbac so presumably weren't presenting as breech

The cesarean delivery rates were 20% (5/25) and 25.1% (448/1788)(this is the normal uterus group), respectively

So if you are presenting normally and get chance to vbac there is a good chance you may acheive one. However as I'm sure you know you are much more likely to be malpresenting with a dodgy womb then you are with a normal womb.

However in vbac one of the main things to conside is the risk of uterine rupture.

There were 1813 attempts at vaginal birth after cesarean delivery between 1992 and 1997 at the Foothills Hospital in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Of the patients 25 had known müllerian duct anomalies and 1788 did not

The rates of uterine rupture were 8% (2/25) in the group with müllerian duct anomalies and 0.61% (11/1788) in the group without müllerian duct anomalies

8% sounds very high, however note the bit in bold

The authors studied five years records in Calgary and found 25 such women who had tried for vaginal deliveries after a previous caesarean. Two of them suffered a ruptured uterus (8%) but both had been induced with prostaglandin gel, and one had had oxytocin as well. Although the rate of rupture was only 0.61% in the 1800 women with apparently normal uteri, the authors do not say how many had had prostaglandin or oxytocin and whether that added to their risk.

In contrast the other article comes to the conclusion that

A trial of vaginal birth after cesarean section in patients with uterine Müllerian malformations and cephalic presentation is not associated with a higher rate of maternal morbidity and uterine rupture

It's hard to tell really whether vbac with a dodgy uterus is more likely to end in a rupture, but it seems fair to say that being induced vastly increases the rate of rupture. Induction does increase the rate of rupture with normal uteri too, but to nowhere near the same extent.

This is the bit which I personally find most relevant though

All cesarean deliveries among women with müllerian duct anomalies were performed urgently in response to severe fetal heart rate abnormalities. The rates of fetal heart rate abnormalities necessitating immediate delivery (60% vs 14.1%, P =.013), operative vaginal delivery (40% vs 19.6%, P =.02), and cord prolapse (8% vs 0.45%, P =.0076) were significantly greater in the group with müllerian duct anomalies.

My DS was born by section due to his heart rate falling a lot. This is something I hadn't considered, I just presumed it was one of those things and hadn't considered it could be due to my uterus shape. I feel this is something I'll have to research a bit more.

I guess the conclusion that I have reached is that as long as you aren't carrying breech you are just as likely to get a normal birth after a caesarian as anyone else, but when things do go wrong they are much likely to go badly wrong. I think the thing is to do what feels right to you, and not what you think others think you should do. Statisitics and other peoples stories never tell your story.

3 things that have made me smile.

2010-08-26T01:15:00.000-07:00

I went to see my friend Hazel last night and we were talking about being positive and sometimes just stopping to think of 3 things that have made you smile today. They don't have to be big things, just things that make you happy.

Anyway it may only be 9.30am but here are three things that have made me smile this morning.

My new nappies and wipes that arrived in the post at 8 this morning. I love My funkly nappies.

My Damson tree which now has lots of lovely ripe damsons that my brother is going to pick for me today. Then it is jam making time, and there is no nicer jam then homemade damson jam.

And thirdly the fact that I'm not in pain this morning. Yesterday I was achey and in so much pain, to the point I nearly cried when they said the midwife drop in had changed from afternoons to mornings so I'd have to wait a week to see her. This morning it has eased so much and I can actually walk faster then a snail which was all I could manage at my worse yesterday dinnertime. The power of prayer and a good nights sleep!

So what 3 things have made you smile today?

21 weeks today!

2010-08-17T13:20:00.001-07:00

Excuse the mucky mirror, this was taken in my parents junk room, but here is my first bump picture, today at 21 weeks

2 posts in my head

2010-08-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

I currently have two different posts in my head. One about supporting those things that matter to you, the other about the strangest things bringing back memories. Then to add to that I have a lot floating around in my head about happiness when those around you are suffering.

I'll try and get this all out of my head and down in words but you'll have to excuse me if doesn't all join together and make sense. I'll try not to be too long about it!

The strange things bringing back memories thing was brought about, oddly enough, by a pair of stripey socks. More to the point, stripey socks with a hole in. I was thinking I should throw them away. Then this memory image popped up in my head as clear as anything, of me in hospital, bare from the waist down except for these knee high stripey socks, being examined as I miscarried. It isn't that I don't think about the miscarriage, I do often, but it is no longer at the front of my mind. Then suddenly there it was, as clear as day, this image from the day I lost Arthur. Down to the doctor apologising as blood dripped on said socks. I don't really know what else there is to say about it, but I needed to say it somehow.

As for supporting the things important to you this was brought about this morning. Sometimes it is easy to forget how much financial support it takes to keep most charities going. I was sat reading about a young girl being raped, while similtaneously on msn my Hubby was telling me he had been given a bonus at work and was sending some money to my account. As I sat crying about this young girl, a charity I know of popped into my head, and I realised how important it is to support these charities so they can support people like this girl. I once went to 3 seminars run by the woman who runs the charity and the work they do is fantastic. I just want to encourage you to support the causes that are important to you. It can be so easy to forget with the day to day of paying bills etc, but every small bit helps.

Lastly I just feel we are so blessed at the moment, but so many people around me and close friends are really struggling. I know we all have points of up and points of down, and there have been points when it has been me going through the crap, but at the moment there seems to be a lot of suffering. 2 close friends have recently lost parents, one this week, just a month after my friend got married. Several friends are really struggling with depression, one to the point of several attempted suicides. People trying unsuccessfully to have babies, people in difficult relationships, a friend of my husbands recently diagnosed with cancer, and people with just a lot of general sadness in their lives. These are the friends I know are struggling, not to mention the ones trying to keep everything together without telling a soul. I don't want to be wrapped in my own little bubble, but sometimes I don't know how to start.

Well I was wrong.

2010-08-11T02:47:00.000-07:00

We are having a little boy! I'm over the moon, but I would be either way. And he sleeps with his hands behind his head just like his brother sometimes does.

Butterflies

2010-08-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my next scan, The butterflies in my tummy aren't all just the baby moving this evening. Hopefully all will be well and by this time tomorrow we will know whether we are having a little boy or girl. I'm leaning slightly towards girl but really not sure, time will tell!

A couple of holiday snaps

2010-08-03T01:15:00.000-07:00

We have just come back from a lovely holiday in Brittany in France. The weather wasn't the hottest, but it was dry and not too cold and we had a lovely time. We went with the inlaws and some aunts and uncles and it was great to have the family time, lots of lovely food and a mainly relaxing 10 days.

18 weeks and flying.

2010-07-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

Somehow I have reached 18 1/2 weeks already. Compared to last time this pregnancy is flying. Maybe it is because I don't have quite as many worries about the whole double womb thing given my body has now done this once before, maybe it is because I have DS to chase after and keep me occupied, but it doesn't seem like I will be half way in a week and a half!

This pregnancy has been quite different to the last, even less sickness, but maybe slightly more tiredness. The unconsumable hunger hasn't hit this time either, meaning so far I've only put on a few pounds despite a fair sized bump. Last time I put on 4 stones in total but I very much doubt I'll hit anything like that this time. I seem more emotional this time, last time I never had the pregnant lady emotions, but this time I have cried once or twice at cbeebies. And my words are often missing and my sentances disappear halfway.

Anyway a week and a half and then we get to hopefully find out what gender this little one is (I'm leaning towards girl) and to see ours bubs on that little screen for a few minutes.

In the mean time I'm sat here having snuggles and watching 'In the night garden' as the rain pours outside.

Crap tv

2010-07-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Is it just me that can't be doing with Jeremy Kyle and the like? It isn't so much the programme, it isn't so much the people on it, it's the way people watch it because they think themselves superior to the people on it. It's like not just slowing down to gawp at a car crash, but then pointing and laughing at the people trying to crawl out the wreakage.

Maybe it's just me being overly sensitive, but this is real peoples lives and there is nearly always children involved, which just makes me feel incredibly sad. Rather then laughing at them, I'd rather just cry normally, I'm just so glad I don't live their life.

My hurray for this week!

2010-07-19T12:49:00.000-07:00

We have movement! Those wonderful tiny precious first flutters have been definitely been felt the last couple of days. Yay!!

Following on from patience patience patience

2010-07-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

Patience is wearing a little thing.

Was told the car would be ready on friday, infact I was told it was ready on friday, but it wasn't, on friday told monday, monday told tuesday, tuesday told wednesday, and today told tomorrow. So everyday I have the fun of calling the garage to be told tomorrow, so then I have to call the insurance company, which means a lovely while on hold, then I have to talk to the courtesy car people, who should have been told by the insurance company but weren't. And I'm guessing the garage haven't told the insuance company what they need to know either, so I get to ring them again later. Oh joy.

Coupled with the fact that today all Noah wants to do is scream, play in the bin, break the fire, play with my knitting or smack the laptop today is a fun day.

Food for thought

2010-07-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

It's getting to that time of year when my little garden is bursting with fruit and veg. A lot of it isn't yet ripe, but this week we have been eating courgettes, Pak Choi and salad from my garden. It's good to know though that by gardening with Noah not only am I providing him with perfectly fresh chemical free food, but also it does hishappiness and development good Ok so the article is about gardening in schools, but surely no matter where you are, encouraging children to get outside in the fresh air, see where their food comes from, play in the dirt and grow their own, can only be a positive thing.

Anyway here are a few obligatory pictures

Some French beans, Mangetout, Kale and Cabbage, as well as a few herbs and strawberries just at the edge.

Pak Choi just before eating

Cougettes

Cooking apples for apple pie

White currants of which we are going to have millions

and Damsons for jam

We also have loads of other bits and bobs, it is surprising quite how much much you can fit in pots and small spaces. We should also soon have tomatoes and carrots and alsorts. You get a lot of reward for a small amount of work.

Patience patience patience

2010-06-28T06:12:00.000-07:00

I dislike waiting in for parcels, I dislike being on hold and I dislike waiting for people to phone me back. I'm sure most people feel similar. Unfortunately I seem to have spent a lot of time on hold this past week, and I've been waiting all day for people to ring me back.

I hadn't put anything about this yet as I wasn't sure with it being an ongoing police matter, but anyway last sunday my car got hit by another car. The drivers were uninsured, and it turned out the car wasn't theirs, they'd 'borrowed' it while the parents were out.

Anyway we were all fine, none of us were injured, the doctor checked me over and said they think baby is fine too. The car was badly damaged but we all didn't even have a bruise. I won't go into details like I say with it being an ongoing thing, but if it had been a second later the outcome could have been very different.

I felt so protected through the whole thing. Not only were we all uninjured, but by the time we had got out the car there was already a policeman on scene who just happened to be driving past. He took care of everything for us.

Since then I seem to have spent a long time on hold though. Today I am waiting for a call about a courtesy car, a call from the insurance and a call from the police about a court case today. The insurance company and the police have been very good, I'm just bored of waiting by the phone today. Whinge over but it's sunny, we're grumpy, and I want to go out!

Scrapping the 'Breast is best' slogan

2010-06-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

What should replace it? What slogan can they think up that will actually persuade more people to at least give breast feeding a go?

I'm thinking, "Breastfeeding, it's free and it helps you get thin"

As a note I do know that not everyone can successfully breastfeed, but there are so many people unwilling wo even give it a go. I don't think any slogan can change that. However I do think that you have to do what is best for you as well as baby, as that makes everyone happier in the long run. It just frustrates me listening to some people and why they never even try.

Fathers day

2010-06-22T08:51:00.000-07:00

Now I know I'm late with this so bear with me. To be honest i hadn't even realised it was fathers day until I saw a friends status update about being up all night with their 2 week old baby, the getting up early with the 3 other children to make her husband a cooked breakfast. I was thinking she was mad, then it hit me there may be a reason for the madness. Fathers day. Ahh yes, now I remember. She is obviously a much more devoted and sentimental wife then me.

Either way, we don't really do mothers day, fathers day or valentines day, we never have. But this year Fathers day nearly had me in tears, maybe it is the hormones, but not entirely.

I have always thought the whole pc crowd in schools etc saying you shouldn't make fathers day cards incase it upsets those whose Dad isn't on the scene was a bit ott.

As I saw the children bring out the cards at church that they had made on sunday morning it nearly made me cry. Leaving aside those adults who may not be able to have children for whatever reason, who I have often thought about, what about the children themselves? 2 little sisters who are in foster care and although they have some contact with their mum I don't think their is any with the Dad. A nearly teenage girl also in foster family, and a young family whose Dad died a few years ago. I could of cried for them. Maybe sometimes a card to a special person isn't such a pc thing. It must break those childrens heart, especially the ones whose Dad has died.

Just another thing that reminds me how very very blessed and fortunate we are.

Where is my little baby?

2010-06-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

He appears to have been replaced by a one year old!! (well a year and 2 days now)

Noah can now walk all the way across the room unaided, he can brush his own teeth, all 8 of them. He loves musical instruments and enjoys playing the glockenspiel or my Dad's guitar. He asks for the telly when he wants it by pointing the remote at the tv and shouting, he loves reading books, even my cook books. He still doesn't really like wearing clothes and prefers to be naked, I appear to have a naturist, and he loves being outdoors. We nearly have sleeping through! Ok it is probably one night in 4 he will make it through to 6 am, but even so it is a vast improvement, and most nights he makes it until about 4 before walking for some milk even if not all the way through. He is still a huge flirt and I fear I will have to watch him with the ladies as he gets bigger, he is all smiles and tilts of the head for a pretty girl. And feeding himself is still ermm.... messy

Noah's party isn't until saturday, so praying for sunshine, but what a difference a year makes!

2010-06-08T02:11:00.000-07:00

So after yesterdays scan I now have a official due date of 28th December. We had a good chat about vbac and they so far seem happy for me to give it a go as long as my scar from last time seems ok. The only thing they were slightly concerned about was the relatively small gap between the two. I know people who have had much smaller gaps who have gone on to have a vbac so not too concerned. I get to meet with the doctor at 36 weeks for a final decision anyway so plenty of time. Here he or she is anyway, and a right little wriggler!

They also seems to be taking a lot more note of my uterus shape this time which is good. All in all a good appointment, they gave me some leaflets about vbac and told me to prepare any questions I might have for at my 20 week scan.

And not to forget Noah here is a picture of him swimming. He loves swimming and goes nearly every week, however it is a shame I can't post the picture of my niece as that truely is fantastic. I don't think I'm ready to share this blog with my family though!

Vbac thoughts

2010-06-03T01:31:00.001-07:00

Now I know I'm only ten weeks in so thinking quite a way ahead here but I have been thinking quite a lot about what is going to happen with giving birth this time. Noah was an emergency section after I wasn't dilating and his heart rate kept dropping. In all though it was a positive experience and I wouldn't change what happened as we were both safe and well.

That brings me to this time though. I have been doing quite a bit of googling on vbac with a didelphyic/bicornuate uterus and from what I can find statistically it doesn't look amazing. However I think that actually the info I have managed to find is a bit skewed. A lot of the data is from america where the doctors are more likely to push for a second c section if you aren't textbook perfect. Plus if you have a mullerian anomally you are more likely to be breech, which makes you most likely to have a c section, again increasing the statistics for repeat C sections.

I wouldn't be unhappy with a repeat section really, but I think I would at least rather try for a natural birth if that is a possibility. But then maybe the reason I didn't dilate is because of my second cervix and the fact that they are wonky rather then side by side?? Who knows? Maybe I'm over thinking this, especially this early, but being pre warned and prepared is always better surely?

I think the one thing I'm definite I don't want is to be induced, so if I go too far over I'd opt for a section rather then letting things go to far waiting for a natural start. Beyond that I don't really know.

I have another scan on Monday so will wait and see if anything is mentioned then, but for now I'll keep googling. If anyone else happens to fall across this blog looking for similar information one of the most useful links I found was this one I did have to sift through a lot of info by a lot of people who know very little about their own condition while looking though. I find it terrible that people are so uniformed! One link I found was one stating that there was only 3 women in the world with a completely duplicated reproductive set??! Another saying that if you have a double womb then a c section is the only option??! Some of these are supposedly informative sites too, not just forums or blogs. I think I may not be a world expert, but I couldn't be happy knowing so little about my own condition! I would have probably been a lot more ignorant of a lot of the facts before the internet.

Big weekend away

2010-06-03T01:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend was my first time seperate from Noah overnight, and it was very nearly a non starter. Having ummed and arghed for ages I had decided to go away for the weekend to a hen weekend I'd been invited to, and leave Noah with Hubby for the weekend. I was going to be gone lunch time friday and not back until mid afternoon sunday, which was a BIG deal for me as I have never been seperate from him for more then a few hours. Fine, I settled all this in my mind, until Thursday night. When Noah slept, really well compared to what he had been doing, but then he woke up, and he was covered in sick. So I brought him into our bed, and soon I was covered in sick and our bed was too. I have never seen anyone soo pleased about being sick, he looked so pleased with himself! I think mainly as it meant he got to take his clothes off and come in our bed for cuddles with us both.

I very very nearly didn't go, leaving him was hard enough, but when he was sick too? However he seemd fine in himself, I knew hubby was capable and it would do them both good to spend time together, plus the hen would have been really disappointed if I hadn't gone. So bags packed and off I went to Snowdon in Wales.

We got there and the weather was gorgeous. You could see the tops of the mountains, it was beautiful. The next day most of the group were due to climb snowdon, but obviously being 9 weeks pregnant it would of been a stupid idea, I was almost jealous I couldn't go (although obviously pleased at the reason), until I got up in the morning and saw the change in weather. It was grim, really grim. This picture doesn't really convey what the weather was like as it was actually much worse up the mountains, plus by the time it was taken it had improved, but you get the idea
I really didn't envy them now! They cam back soak through to the skin even in full waterproofs. They ached, dripped and hobbled. I think a good time was had, but oh they were wet. Very very wet.

We had a great weekend though, and although I missed Noah it was fine, he was absolutely fine and happy with his Daddy. I got some much needed sleep, and actually it has helped improve his sleep a lot. I may not be quite ready to do it again just yet, but I'm really glad I did.

8+4 scan

2010-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:00

Now I know that to everyone else this probably just looks like a blob, but here is my tiny gorgeous little baby!!

Weekend away

2010-05-25T12:48:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of the people at Tesco we have just had a nice relaxing weekend away. We stayed not too far from Cambridge and had a day in the city, and a day at a local English Heritage property
followed by a catch up lunch with some friends that live that way. The sun shone, the sky was blue, the journey was mostly clear, had a lovely time seeing people and all in all it was a very enjoyable weekend.

Noah had his first introduction to a peacock and it really was that close! They appeared fascinted by each other, it kept coming over to very close by, having a look at each other, then wandering off for a few minutes before coming back to look again. I must say they can be very noisy creatures when they want to be, but when Noah found his voice to shout back he wasn't exactly quiet either!

So thank you to clubcard points!

Oh and as a throw away picture to finish, I have never seen a duck like this before!

Breathe a big sigh of relief

2010-05-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finally had me early scan. It should have been at 6 weeks, but ended up at eight, but the most important part is that everything is absolutely fine. I am so so very blessed. To have a double uterus can mean so many problems, but we have been really blessed, firstly with my son, and secondly with one tiny little baby, growing exactly as he or she should be doing.

I will try and get a scan picture up in the next few days, but the difference between a 6 week scan and an 8 week scan is incredible! Even at just 8 and a half weeks you can see such a clear little person, heart, head, body and the beginning of little legs.

I am so grateful to my midwife who sorted my scan out for me, she is fab. The doctor had been faffing and doing nothing for 3 weeks, the midwife, got on the phone while I was there and managed to get me sorted for the next day if I had wanted, although we waited until monday as we went away for the weekend. Hurrah for lovely midwives. Not such a hurrah for the student midwife who attempted to take my blood and left me with a dead arm for the next couple of days, but I know they all have to learn.

We have walking!!!

2010-05-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

11 months tomorrow and today we had our first unaided steps! I'm so proud of my little man, he is really growing up!

As for everything else I am just over 7 weeks now, not heard back about my early scan yet, it is taking a long time, but gave them a gentle reminder on friday. Hopefully it will come through soon, I would like that little bit of reasurrance now.

Raarrrrrr!!!!!

2010-04-29T08:15:00.000-07:00

I don't mind feeding you several times during the night. I don't mind that you never get even vaguely close to sleeping through. I know you are 10 months old but it you want milk every couple of hours through the night I have let you and very rarely complained, I'm happy to do it. But will you please please give up with these recently discovered epic screaming fits at stupid o clock that tend to go on for far too long just because you want to use me as a dummy. Rarrrr!!!!

Made all the more fun because then you spend half the day shouting at me because your tired, and I'm to shattered to put up with it.

30th December

2010-04-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

It seems a long time away until December, but all being well we will have the best Christmas yet.

In the mean time my brain hasn't started over thinking too much yet, just taking it a day at a time, but it doesn't seem entirely real yet that I'm actually pregnant. I think it is very different this time, partly because it happened straight away, but mainly because we already have Noah. Having Noah means I know that this whole double womb thing sometimes works out fine. Not everyone has incompetent cervixes, or preterm birth, sometimes, for some people, it is just fine. And hopefully that will be the case again.

I am still letting it sink in I think. Which is possibly partly why I haven't rung the doctors yet to arrange an early scan, I should do that now.

In the mean time place your bets now, left uterus or right? I'm thinking right, which would give it three out of three.

This week I have been mainly

2010-04-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

POAS.....
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..
.

.

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And it turns out I was right..

.

....
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..

I was ovulating.

...
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And guess the good news?!

....
..
...

WOOHOO!!!!